Men used to hate and revile me, but now they seem to like me

[Chaos One]

Well, that happens. I mean, in the end people will only try something with another one if they feel attracted and that's it.

Although there's the old joke that some people just date others because they care more about what people will say about it than real or personal feelings.

[Incal]

Work on it than. It's not that extremely hard. Find a job, lose weight, join singles groups - and try to be reasonable so try to date women near your age and not kids, women from similar socio-economical or cultural circle etc.
It's not nuclear science.

You are wasting your time. He'd rather die.

[Incal]

Gosh, I really meed to focus more on how blessed I am and be grateful... as well as reconsidering how I present these issues online, as to not elicit concern where it isn't actually needed. I'm extraordinarily lucky, and I had a conversation with my partner about how the way I share things with others may make things seem worse than they actually are... I'm sorry to anyone who has been bothered by me

lol stop saying sorry, especially in a forum full of weirdos like this one.

[hmaohma78]

There was a study that I came across a while back about this subject. The results stated that an male brain signals a annoyed like reception when they see an unattractive woman. In comparison a woman brain doesn't even register in her mind when shown an unattractive men. Perhaps this could explain your situation.

[nittionia]

There was a study that I came across a while back about this subject. The results stated that an male brain signals a annoyed like reception when they see an unattractive woman. In comparison a woman brain doesn't even register in her mind when shown an unattractive men. Perhaps this could explain your situation.

I've seen this happen a lot. Some guys get visibly irritated with and hate unattractive girls, even when they don't have any other reason to be.

Edit: The times I've seen this happen are to overweight girls and the guys always tell me that fat girls annoy them.

[RogueState]

I still don't believe the common notion that women are showered with love and male attention their whole lives, or that men are always messaging us, or anything like that. I spent my youth being absolutely hated by the boys and men around me. I needed to go through an INTENSE transformative process to get to where I am today. The first male attention I ever received was at the very end of high school, where I got into a harmful relationship with a grown man. Now, I've had a good boyfriend for three years, and just this past month, random men in my life are complimenting me, asking me to dates (and being rejected since I'm taken), etc. It's really hard for me to believe that most women just enjoy this from the start, when I've had to endure ruthless self-recreation to get a crumb of what people claim women experience.

If most women really are being obsessed over by men all the time, without ever needing to put in labor (like I did), no wonder they're such entitled bitches. I had to fight tooth and nail against myself to earn the love I finally have as of the past few years.

Is it really true that most women are just used to being liked, asked out, etc? Even though I have the relationship of my dreams, it still makes me feel like a lesser being to know that other women are seen as universally more desirable than myself. It makes me paranoid and self-destructive. What have the other ladies on this forum experienced?

You were that much naive to not be aware (it's basic common sense tbh) that attractive girls have at least 10 guys in their social network's DMs to go for a date potentially? Nerdy/dorky-looking girls of course get much less attention from men as they don't fit to beauty standards shared by majority of men.

What's interesting is that you are implicitly regretting not being catcalled in the streets, that guys don't approach you, and yet the whole feminist narrative is to blame men for even talking to unrelated women (micro-aggression, rape accusations, ...) (unless it's done by a handsome man )

[InmostLight]

You were that much naive to not be aware (it's basic common sense tbh) that attractive girls have at least 10 guys in their social network's DMs to go for a date potentially? Nerdy/dorky-looking girls of course get much less attention from men as they don't fit to beauty standards shared by majority of men.

What's interesting is that you are implicitly regretting not being catcalled in the streets, that guys don't approach you, and yet the whole feminist narrative is to blame men for even talking to unrelated women (micro-aggression, rape accusations, ...) (unless it's done by a handsome man )

Well yeah, I'm not a feminist. I openly, not implicitly, regret it. Feminists who hate catcalling, etc probably have similar experiences of being ignored. They want to demonize male attentiom because they seethe when they see other women receiving it.

I have attention and a relationship now, and my self esteem is much better, but it still makes me sad that I had to fight so hard to deserve it. I understand that it's only human nature to favor "perfect" women, but it's sad to think about how I was barely treated as a person when I was uglier.

I still don't believe that women have lots of men in their messages, though.

[nittionia]

I still don't believe that women have lots of men in their messages, though.

Do you have Instagram? I get messages there or on Facebook, and even guys asking to give me money to buy clothes or whatever I want, not even to talk to them ever again. I thought it was fake for a while so I tested it and gave one my venmo, and he sent me $100 and said he just wanted to give me a smile. That type of thing has happened a lot actually and I don't understand because I never respond to them (I make sure my instagram is private now though)

[InmostLight]

Do you have Instagram? I get messages there or on Facebook, and even guys asking to give me money to buy clothes or whatever I want, not even to talk to them ever again. I thought it was fake for a while so I tested it and gave one my venmo, and he sent me $100 and said he just wanted to give me a smile. That type of thing has happened a lot actually and I don't understand because I never respond to them (I make sure my instagram is private now though)

I had instagram for years and never got messages like that. I ended up deleting it and never looking back

[Aldaris]

That's not the case in eastern Europe, where is numerically less men than women and high concentrate of very attractive women with top notch grooming.

Men are very spoiled and it's much more common to see average or even ugly man with attractive female, than the opposite.

Many normal looking girls there get hardly any attention, except from foreigners.

I'm neither eastern or western European or I am both, depending on your definition, so I don't know what to think about that. Should I be insulted? Should I be flattered? Or should I just feel neutral about the statement? If I was pure eastern European male, I would take it for an insult. You as a woman can't uderstand how we think. And men don't understand women either.