"Boyfriend don't deserve huusband privileges" how do we feel about this phrase?

[nittionia]

I'm from the opposite situation, being the oldest daughter in a motherless household with semi-negligent and very angry adults upbringing definitely shapes what you expect, and how much you can tolerate, from your relationship partner. Part of me secretly longs fto be cherished and obsessed over, but I don't know if I couls handle it, so it typically turns me off.

Oh and he is the only child to parents who are obsessively in love with him and treat him like a child emperor

I'm an only child (but youngest in my whole extended family) and my family treats me like that too. I don't think I act entitled since I'm really shy to everyone else, but even his family gives me special treatment. The outcome is different for only female children than males though.

I do expect my morning presents to be delivered by my peasants though.

[Seya]

In this situation, marriage makes no sense anymore. Why would people marry anyway? Boyfriend/girlfriend is just a stage of knowing each other to see if you're a good match, if you can have a family together. By family I mean building a long life together, buying a house (maybe), having children, and that family includes your family and his family as well. I'd never take home to my parents a "boyfriend" if none of us is still convinced we're a good match for each other. Of course love is the most important factor but there are other factors to take into consideration when thinking to start a family with someone. Families (parents mostly) have an important say in this. Maybe in the western world things work differently but this is how it works in this parts of the world. I don't understand people who live together without being married. Maybe before marriage when they already agreed together and together with their families to get married, it's ok. To cook and clean for him? What if you wont end up with him for life? Maybe he'll decide to try something better. Usually this is the reason why people don't decide, after a long relationship, to get married. They're not 100% convinced. Certain things are for your husband only, not for every "boyfriend'" along the way. "Limitless devotion and emotional support" of course...these are the bases of any relationship.

[PlattitüdenPaule]

Doesnt have a normal responsible adult have to do chores anyway, in relationship or not? Yeah, then she`ll just do a bit more of laundry, its not like anyone here has to do this by hand anymore and I`ll just cook a bit more; its easier to cook for two anyways. To obsess over such things in the vein of "ermahgerd, I`m so investing my whole life and energy on my partner. He/she has to constantly appreciate my godlike commitment and of course so has to do everyone else I can reach over Instagram/Tik Tok/Twitter/YouNameIt." is a thing I`ll probably never understand. Seems to be much more prevalent in USA, as I`ve barely seen people playing these games anywhere around Europe.

[Jana]

Doesnt have a normal responsible adult have to do chores anyway, in relationship or not? Yeah, then she`ll just do a bit more of laundry, its not like anyone here has to do this by hand anymore and I`ll just cook a bit more; its easier to cook for two anyways. To obsess over such things in the vein of "ermahgerd, I`m so investing my whole life and energy on my partner. He/she has to constantly appreciate my godlike commitment and of course so has to do everyone else I can reach over Instagram/Tik Tok/Twitter/YouNameIt." is a thing I`ll probably never understand. Seems to be much more prevalent in USA, as I`ve barely seen people playing these games anywhere around Europe.

Couldn't agree more. I never saw such thinking here. Interpersonal relations in the US seem so ill and unnatural it gives me creeps.

[Scar95]

They don't, especially not the desireable woman kind.

they do(women), because it's a way to catch a guy, at least temporarily. It's a lot harder for a female to make it on her own and being just the girlfriend doesn't say much. No matter how rich or good-looking a woman is, your first accomplishment as a female is your husband and later on in life, your children.

There's really not much to do as a woman if you have money, and putting beauty aside, other women are jealous of your husband/boyfriend, not of your career or what car you drive. Women would rather be the wife of some good-looking successful guy that they see on TV than own a good business on their own and be married to some average guy.

Women don't like taking decisions anyway, they like to be told what to do.

[Jana]

they do(women), because it's a way to catch a guy, at least temporarily. It's a lot harder for a female to make it on her own

It used to be, but not anymore. I'd argue it's harder being a man these days in western world.

No matter how rich or good-looking a woman is, your first accomplishment as a female is your husband and later on in life, your children.

It's children rather than husband and you can have children easily these days, without much need for a husband (not that it's positive, but it's a reality)

There's really not much to do as a woman if you have money, and putting beauty aside, other women are jealous of your husband/boyfriend, not of your career or what car you drive. Women would rather be the wife of some good-looking successful guy that they see on TV than own a good business on their own and be married to some average guy.

Women don't like taking decisions anyway, they like to be told what to do.

Sure. But for women that are desireable it's difficult to find a man worth marrying. In the end you may like somebody else after few years and wish to remarry/divorce.
In modern high tech society with increased opportunities and quality of life marriage lost much of it's purpose.

Most marriages start well but turn dour after years. In the past people would stay together nevertheless. Today you don't have to do that. Although life long love is ofc ideal, but not always realistic. Thus you're free to start fresh anytime.

[Scar95]

It used to be, but not anymore. I'd argue it's harder being a man these days in western world.

Being a man has always been harder, however, with far greater rewards and life possibilities.

It's children rather than husband and you can have children easily these days, without much need for a husband (not that it's positive, but it's a reality)

It really isn't, and it's enough to look at celebrities to see that I am right. Nobody knows who their children are but most know who they're coupled with. Children are only late in life, when and if they've achieved something on their own.

Children and marriage are a way of leeching some of the success of the man.

Sure. But for women that are desireable it's difficult to find a man worth marrying. In the end you may like somebody else after few years and wish to remarry/divorce.

It's difficult to find a man worth marrying as, besides beauty, everything else is of much lesser importance in terms of what women can give, so as a woman you can rarely be placed better than in the 2-3% percentile bracket. Even height is much less important for females or going to the gym(99% of gym girls are just wasting their time), whereas for men just having height and going to the gym gives you a strong advantage over other men.

[Jana]

Being a man has always been harder, however, with far greater rewards and life possibilities.

Yes. But what I'm saying is that today women don't need men to secure materially comfortable life (although having a well-off man helps a lot). In most universities women outnumber the men, so long term it's financial power of men that's gonna fall which I don't think is positive at all btw, but that's where things are going. Men still earn much more in top jobs and have best positions more easily reachable (which is natural as most women aren't of competitive nature), but my point is that trends are reversing in favor of women, as of now.

It really isn't, and it's enough to look at celebrities to see that I am right. Nobody knows who their children are but most know who they're coupled with. Children are only late in life, when and if they've achieved something on their own.

Most people don't care for celebrities and their lives. And in most cultures being childless is being seen as much bigger "cross" than being unmarried, because obviously children secure our species to continue while marriage is something that's cultural and not biological. I'd rather chose to be single mother of multiple children with multiple fathers than being a childless wife of a 10/10 millionare, without slightest hesitation.

Also having children later in life isn't appealing for everyone. Some prefer to have them young.

It's difficult to find a man worth marrying as, besides beauty, everything else is of much lesser importance in terms of what women can give, so as a woman you can rarely be placed better than in the 2-3% percentile bracket. Even height is much less important for females or going to the gym(99% of gym girls are just wasting their time), whereas for men just having height and going to the gym gives you a strong advantage over other men.

Well I don't agree with that, but many people are shallow so I get your point. If I were a man, woman would have to have much more than beauty to get me interested. Same as for men, I find height largerly irrelevant when it comes to finding men I'd like to get invloved with, but to each their own.

[Scar95]

Yes. But what I'm saying is that today women don't need men to secure materially comfortable life (although having a well-off man helps a lot). In most universities women outnumber the men, so long term it's financial power of men that's gonna fall which I don't think is positive at all btw, but that's where things are going. Men still earn much more in top jobs and have best positions more easily reachable (which is natural as most women aren't of competitive nature), but my point is that trends are reversing in favor of women, as of now.



Most people don't care for celebrities and their lives. And in most cultures being childless is being seen as much bigger "cross" than being unmarried, because obviously children secure our species to continue while marriage is something that's cultural and not biological. I'd rather chose to be single mother of multiple children with multiple fathers than being a childless wife of a 10/10 millionare, without slightest hesitation.

Also having children later in life isn't appealing for everyone. Some prefer to have them young.



Well I don't agree with that, but many people are shallow so I get your point. If I were a man, woman would have to have much more than beauty to get me interested. Same as for men, I find height largerly irrelevant when it comes to finding men I'd like to get invloved with, but to each their own.

As a women in your late 30s and more, being childless is seen as if there is something wrong with you, as you cannot be sacrificial as men can be, devoted to something like your career. Men are expandable and nobody cared about childless men in any century nor today.

Both not having children and not having a husband are bad for women.

However, this isn't what I said, which is that your husband/boyfriend is what defines your success. Putting looks aside, when the girls go out, they look at the husband/boyfriend of the other girls and not what they have going for themselves, your husband/boyfriend is what is going for you and he is your biggest asset, just as how men judge themselves based on how successful they are on the social hierarchy.

Hence, why even when you have children, if you dont have a husband your relatives your rush you to find one(having a boyfriend/husband means that you can enjoy some of his success).

[Jana]

As a women in your late 30s and more, being childless is seen as if there is something wrong with you, as you cannot be sacrificial as men can be, devoted to something like your career. Men are expandable and nobody cared about childless men in any century nor today.

Both not having children and not having a husband are bad for women.

However, this isn't what I said, which is that your husband/boyfriend is what defines your success. Putting looks aside, when the girls go out, they look at the husband/boyfriend of the other girls and not what they have going for themselves, your husband/boyfriend is what is going for you and he is your biggest asset just as how men judge themselves based on how successful they are on the social hierarchy.

Hence, why even when you have children, if you dont have a husband your relatives your rush you to find one.

Thing is that not everyone cares about what society or average Joes measure as success. Some people just do their own thing and what makes them happy. Play your own game.
What makes Mary or Joe happy won't neccessarily make you content. People are different and one formula doesn't work on others.

IMO most people obsess over life goals way too much. Just enjoy the ride and try to do your best.