Are maternal instincts real?/Do mothers actually love their children?

[InmostLight]

Those are psychopaths. Normal women do care.

I totally agree with you that feeling that way is sick, depraved, and unnatural. However, it's scary not knowing if you'll be one of those women until AFTER you're stuck with the baby for life

[Occiput in Starlight]

I assume that a woman who thinks about what kind of mother she will be, will more often end up being a good mother.

[Occiput in Starlight]

I assume that a woman who thinks about what kind of mother she will be, will more often end up being a good mother.

Something like how people with OCD fears of physically harming others, are in fact less likely than others to physically harm people.

[Incal]

I totally agree with you that feeling that way is sick, depraved, and unnatural. However, it's scary not knowing if you'll be one of those women until AFTER you're stuck with the baby for life

You'd know by now, believe me.

[oszkar07]

InmostLight;7719346]We've all heard and read about how women would die for their children and all that, but there are also so many horrifying stories of women feeling no connection to their children, leading to regret, which then snowballs into abuse and neglect, or even abandonment. Does anyone think the likelihood of regretting motherhood is culture-dependent? My classmates and coworkers from communitarian/collectivist societies are shocked to hear that a mother could discard of her child, but my American (and sometimes other Westerner) peers are used to it, with some viewing motherhood with total disgust.

Is there any way to predict what type of mother a woman will be? How can you tell if you'll get the fabled experience of becoming a mama bear who loves every second with her children, or an evil crone who views them with eternal contempt and resentment? Is the risk even worth it?

Edit: well of course they're real for some women, so a better question should be, do all women have maternal instincts, or is it possible to be born lacking the ability to have them?[/QUOTE]

I think many women have maternal instincts,


I would guess to say most meaning more than 50%.

I don't think all women have maternal instincts ,
The notion that they all do is probably a societal myth the same way that it is a societal myth that all women are soft and nurturing etc, as men we shouldnt expect that of all women because its not necessarily true and much more an individual based thing.

but the world/society has changed a lot too.

Perhaps most woman in the past felt motherhood was a duty of being a woman and these days many woman are trying to be career women etc etc and i think some women dont want children or dont want the burden of them,but many women are social driven creatures and so there is the thing of having kids because their friends are doing it and it seems like the thing to do and it is some type of societal milestone/status thing. But i think at least more than 50 % of females by nature have maternal instincts but not all women or maybe they all do but only a percentage embrace those instincts and prioritise them.


Oh, and she never gives out and she never gives in
She just changes her mind

She is frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel
But she can do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool
And she can't be convicted, she's earned her degree
And the most she will do is throw shadows at you
But she's always a woman to me

[Mr.G]

As a father myself, I can say that when it comes to protecting my children, I'm a dangerous man. Most other circumstances, I'm Ned Flanders.

I do think maternal (and paternal) instincts are a real phenomenon in the vast majority of cases.

[White Swan]

My birth mother didn't have them in surplus because she had a traumatic childhood, but she still has more than my adoptive mom who never gave birth. Something about the pregnancy and birth process really flips that switch. But I always had them, before I was ever pregnant, perhaps as a corrective measure to make up for immediate ancestral difficulties, idk.

I would say that if you are worried about you probably shouldn't be. I believe that the only women who lack this are women who deny their role as mother due to some feminist type of belief in which they presume they are lesser if they were to embrace it.

[Petalpusher]

About as much as paternal instinct, except females release oxytocin sooner because they have to care for the child instantly and for men it takes a bit more time. Can't go against millions of years of evolution with that.

Even in promiscuous mice females (yes...) they stop being cavernous whores™ if you inject them oxytocin, they resume caring for their pups all of a sudden.

Generally i think men can tell relatively quickly if a woman has a strong maternal instinct, it's what i would describe as a soft peaceful tranquility vibe we get glimpses of sometimes, even those with a hard facade.

[Victor]

I was a c-section baby

Me too, I was one big boy with large head, my mom was 38 back then (1986), she had bad eyesight during whole life and doctors informed her it may dramatically worsen in she's gonna do it the natural way.

[Jana]

Yes, absolutely.