Women of TA, would you allow your man to sleep with another woman?

[Duke]

I said before that monogamous ppl exist, I am one of them.

But, you know, someone can fell out of love and in that case, I think it is not nice to deny freedom to people to do what makes them happy. No matter if that is marriage or not.

And I said also, women is free to leave that man, but not act like judge or policeman.

Nesto kao : znam da zelis kolegicu s posla, ali samo se usudi nesto uciniti, izvoli se suzdrzati, vjencani smo, imas obavezu. Na kraju ti se citav zivog pretvori u obavezu.

Yeah what Feii said, if you fall out, its better to divorce, rather that giving agony

[InmostLight]

In case of falling out of love I believe divorce is best option. Marriage shouldn't be preserved at all cost if it isn't good one anymore.

But you can feel attracted to other people even if you are in love with spouse and everything is fine after that many years (I guess I could be at least), but in that case cheating would be very harmful and stupid.

I absolutely do not condone cheating behind someone's back, by the way. I think a couple can be perfectly in love and still end up in a situation where the man cannot have his sexual needs met. I think it's okay for them to discuss the options, so the relationship can be preserved while the man finds alternative routes to sexual fulfillment, but it should be discussed first.

[Seya]

I don't understand this, but I did apparently do something wrong, because it made him upset. Wouldn't it be a good thing if I offered him additional opportunities to fulfill his needs? It generally seems like men absolutely dread being stuck with the same bitch forever, so I thought it would open doors to a more fulfilled life to offer that to him. I think Petalpusher was correct in stating that successful men cannot be expected not to cheat.
There has unfortunately been some discussion about my failure to meet his needs, so it seemed like the reasonable next step for me to offer him the opportunity to see women who are more capable. I'm not throwing in the towel-- I'm at the absolute limit of what I can give, and have exhausted my ability to grow and improve into what he needs-- so it seemed like the right thing to say. I am not possessive and would not mind there being other women, as long as he still treats me kindly and talks to me every day.

Fulfillment in life has nothing to do with the amount of sexual partners you have had. It's about having a happy family life, a partner that loves you to death, takes care of you, supports you, comforts you, a person that you can trust 100% and you're sure will never disappoint you. There is no place for other people between you two. You shouldn't even mention other women. Many people get married for a lot of reasons other than love. I don't think marriage is a must in our days. If you don't find the person that makes you willing to sacrifice your everything for the happiness of your other half, then it's better to remain unmarried imo. A marriage without 100% dedication from both side wont make any of you happy. How would you feel if your partner would tell you that you're free to see other men too? Wouldn't you feel a huge gap between you two? You belong to each other and it's not like being possessive, you're like one..two bodies, one soul, or this is how your should feel at least.

[ugochaves]

This is a very difficult question. If a man has one woman all his life, then the testosterone level decreases, the sparkle in his eyes disappears, the excitement, the will to succeed. A man becomes a grumbler and henpecked. Absolutely all men and women cheat, at least in their thoughts. I believe that a man should not go against nature, otherwise he will become irritable and unsatisfied. But his woman must not know anything.

[ugochaves]

No, she must know. Life is much easier when you are honest.

Read what Seya writes - "two bodies are one soul." There are such pure, immaculate women who cannot be offended, so as not to hurt their moral principles. - to be honest, I'm afraid of such people, it seems to me that many of them become maniacs...but ok...Would such a pure woman be able to forgive treason? She will believe to the end that her boyfriend is special and has never cheated on her. And such women should not be disappointed. Other women, no worse. For example, you stand for honesty. Conclusion: an individual approach to each person. Many couples generally like swing - it's their choice.

[rothaer]

Read what Seya writes - "two bodies are one soul." There are such pure, immaculate women who cannot be offended, so as not to hurt their moral principles. - to be honest, I'm afraid of such people, it seems to me that many of them become maniacs...but ok...Would such a pure woman be able to forgive treason? She will believe to the end that her boyfriend is special and has never cheated on her. And such women should not be disappointed. Other women, no worse. For example, you stand for honesty. Conclusion: an individual approach to each person. Many couples generally like swing - it's their choice.

I find it touching (positively) what Seya writes. Although I think that she would express differently in 20 years she must not be wrong. Absolutely there's also a thing like eternal fidelity. But I think that she has a clear and fixated relationship in her mind. In contrast to this many relationships are not. Like the exact beginning of a relationship can be somewhat unclear, an ending can be unclear as well. There are a lot of relationships in dissolution, some of which face longer respective processes. To my perception actually the OP deals with such a situation. There is considered a desperate move in order to maybe fix an existent big problem that otherwise perspectively may put the relationship to an end. Seya's ideals are fine and I'm sure that the OP would prefer all that as well. But one can not simply apply such ideals to a situation that is all but ideal. Admittedly, the OP has been somewhat reserved in making clear the problem. Meanwhile it has been made clear, I think.

[HannibaltheGreat]

leting the man cheat if that makes him happy, its very strange, or very tolerant outlook

It's not cheating if the partner says it's ok.
What it might be is called being cucked.

[Incal]

Just know that you are chasing a bit of a unicorn or someone not many other women would want.

Roger that.

[Hexachordia]

You just want a special one for yourself only, sounds very natural, but how special yourself can be to anyone at all? "Everyone is special !!" such a saying is just a social and philosophical allowance, a moral expectation mixed with romantic individualism, it can be as hard as becoming a millionaire in reality. It means, if you want such a partner, it also asks from your sacrifices too, then it will become a demand of mutual sacrifices. It might also pursuade one to stay celibate because of fear for disappointment, it is also a part of sacrifice for the sheer hope in a perfect love. Asking for love, money, security, longevity, society, fame, and almost everything and taking everything as your own for granted. I think such a life is nothing but boredom at the extreme.

你们说富人的生活枯燥和朴实无华，这倒是真的，只是有些穷人真的比富人还无聊枯燥而且比富人还 要浮躁。

[Cybele]

Like other female members answering this thread, my response to the question is also negative.
While some can do it, not all women are made for open relationships. One has to be 100% honest with herself, with her feelings when consenting her boyfriend/husband to have other sexual (and romantic) partners. There are cases in which some allow it, only to later feel deep down, resentful and frustrated.
The potential of having an open relationship should be one of the things discussed and people with similar views should date /marry. Also, once established the relationship, there should be further open and honest communication about wants and needs, so it does not end up in betrayal. Better to have a civilized breakup than to deceive someone.