The feeling of vulnerability and trauma

[nittionia]

It depends. Girls get "harassed" in little ways all the time and just move on because they're used to it (it's gross, but you don't feel like you should go to the police or something). There are definitely situations that scare you and should get attention, and these situations are much more uncommon to happen to men. For example, at school or workplace harassment can feel more extreme for females because of the power dynamic and vulnerability that comes from that environment, and many power positions are held by men who can take advantage of it. I have had very gross situations from teachers or people in power, but I was too afraid to ever say something - I think this is pretty common.

[Colonel Frank Grimes]

No, it happened quite recently. A year ago, or so. The guy was also an adult. He thought it’s kinda funny to pull my pigtails and scare me.

Well, that's weird. That's something you expect children to do to each other. I hoped you kicked him in the balls. Pulling hair is assault and so you'd be in your right to defend yourself (even if he thought it was a funny thing to do and wouldnt take it further).

[Petalpusher]

This is more like a fun experience to us that happens every now and then and we shake it off 5 minutes later. Some women can get very insistent and sticky but obviously it's never that threatning as we can defend ourselves if we don't feel like it and even if we do, it always tastes a little weird and off putting coming from a woman out of the blue. Of course if you know the cunt it's different, it can be hot but i don't think it's very sexy or exciting some chick trying to catch you into a corner as you go to the bathroom or something like that however it's happening to us more often than probably even females imagine themselves since they generally don't deal with women in more sexual contexts.

Right now i feel like i want to put on a hashtag and tell my stories. Just kidding, nobody cares.

More seriously i ve heard terrible ones from women i ve know more or less intimately and always wondered why exactly they didn't speak out about it, even to men in their entourage or family, cause i reckon some guys are really despicable pigs that we would have loved being able to punch their face for it but we got those stories years after the facts.

[Cybele]

Excellent post.

I would say in the case of children it's different in that their world is one of vulnerability in that they not only have no control over their lives but they don't understand what is going on. Childhood trauma is a heavy load for people to carry.

Absolutely. The younger the age, the bigger the vulnerability. Childhood trauma can ruin lives.
One could argue that being a teenager, a person is more sexually, mentally and emotionally mature compared to a child and that’s true. But still, it depends on the person (some teens are not so sexual) and when we’re talking about unconsented actions, is bad either way. Luckily in some cases such acts, happen extremely rare to cause some sort of trauma. Or one is capable to rationalize what has happened.

[robertb]

I believe these unconsented acts (groping, indecent exposure and so on) are morally wrong, both for women and men. When both parties consent and then change mind, is another story.
But I assume (not being a man myself) that some heterosexual guys actually enjoy being touched by women, purely because of the physical sensation. There are some who don’t, of course. Plus, as you mentioned, a man is not concerned about being overpowered by a woman. He can much easily make her stop with this behavior, if it’s necessary. So, the fact that some men might enjoy it, plus not feeling physically threatened or vulnerable as much, affects them (a proportion of male population) less negatively I presume. I wouldn't say seeing someone jerking off by themselves or another person in public is traumatic but it is super awkward (can't they get a room or something?!)
I had two incidents in my life, both when I was a teen: first with groping (kinda), second with indecent exposure in public space. While I cannot say they traumatized me long term, they felt very unpleasant when they happened, making me feel panic and anxiety (maybe also because I was quite young).

No I don't like any stranger touching me, maybe I'm weird but I have a large personal space. Always in my experience trashy women like touching you as they talk to you, I mean even in something like work or shopping.

[Cybele]

No I don't like any stranger touching me, maybe I'm weird but I have a large personal space.

Nah, not weird, not all people are so touchy.

Always in my experience trashy women like touching you as they talk to you, I mean even in something like work or shopping.

Time to put the trashy women in their place:

Joking.

[robertb]

Nah, I would never hit a woman. lol My late mom taught me proper southern manners, I also never curse in mixed company. Seems strange in the world today but I'm to old to change.

[Cybele]

Nah, I would never hit a woman. lol My late mom taught me proper southern manners, I also never curse in mixed company. Seems strange in the world today but I'm to old to change.

Proper gentleman.

[Voskos]

Bragging about sexual dominance in a professional environment has never been more sensual. Forget about suing that woman, you're the new Michael Douglas, my new hero.

[Ellethwyn]

Is it the feeling of vulnerability that causes trauma?

I don't know what the Louis C.K. situation is, but it sounds messed up.

Yes, to be traumatized you would have had to feel vulnerable.

What would Colonel Frank Grimes do if a burly 6'5 man squeezed your ass? And he was your chiropractor in the middle of giving you an adjustment, but the butt squeeze was definitely not part of the adjustment?