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I was diagnosed with melancholy in this april,and sometimes I think I'm just a fucking looser,and even don't wanna live anymore,but I dare not to suicide,because I'm afraid of pain,and I'm worrying about how can my parents spend their live after I suicide,so I choose to go on with my life.And I was in hospital by melancholy and anxiety for 2 times in this year,the doctors provide me some medicines,my illness is better but sometime still have negative thoughts.
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