Question to MENA users: how would your family feel about you dating/marrying Westerners?

**Tooting Carmen** · 12-31-2023, 07:20 PM

Whether you live in the West or not.

**Oghuz** · 12-31-2023, 07:47 PM

Never complained a bit

My dad had a very similar lifestyle to mine. Maybe because we are males

**Tooting Carmen** · 12-31-2023, 07:49 PM

Originally Posted by Oghuz

Never complained a bit

My dad had a very similar lifestyle to mine. Maybe because we are males

What about if said Westerners were African-Americans, Maoris or Australian Aboriginals?

**Oghuz** · 12-31-2023, 07:55 PM

Originally Posted by Tooting Carmen

What about if said Westerners were African-Americans, Maoris or Australian Aboriginals?

Truth be told they will not be too happy about it. Westerners in MENA eyes = Caucasians or Caucasian passing people (like white latinos).

My family never had any control over my life in general but they always saw me with Southern-European females so I have no idea how they would have reacted otherwise. It is very rare to find an Iranian, Turkish or dare I say any educated working MENA man with a woman darker than his self. I have yet to meet one such couple.

**Tooting Carmen** · 12-31-2023, 08:01 PM

Originally Posted by Oghuz

Truth be told they will not be too happy about it. Westerners in MENA eyes = Caucasians or Caucasian passing people (like white latinos).

My family never had any control over my life in general but they always saw me Southern-European females so I have no idea how they would have reacted otherwise. It is very rare to find an Iranian or dare I say any educated working MENA man with a woman darker than his self.

As much as some dismiss the "White privilege" theory as woke nonsense, and I am not saying I endorse every aspect of it either, it is nevertheless true that, even among the most conservative and tribalistic MENAs (and also South Asians, East Asians, Latin Americans etc), at the very least they would not be AS upset about their children marrying Whites as they would were they to marry Blacks. And your last sentence is very revealing as well - is Iran really such a colourist society?

**sacha** · 12-31-2023, 08:04 PM

As long as he is Christian (even just Christian by birth but not practicing lol) it is accepted. Much of my family is married to Europeans, Americans and Latinos of different Christian sects, there is really no fuss at all. For both men and women the partner is expected to have a good job and be classy, no crazy hair or many tattooes, the standards are high no matter who you are marrying, though I do not think this is rare or specific to us.

**Tooting Carmen** · 12-31-2023, 08:05 PM

Originally Posted by sacha

As long as he is Christian it is accepted. Much of my family is married to Europeans, Americans and Latinos of different Christian sects, there is really no fuss at all. For both men and women the partner is expected to have a good job and be classy, no crazy hair or many tattooes, the standards are high no matter who you are marrying, though I do not think this is rare or specific to us.

Are those Latinos all White/near-White, or are there some darker-skinned ones too?

**Oghuz** · 12-31-2023, 08:14 PM

Originally Posted by Tooting Carmen

As much as some dismiss the "White privilege" theory as woke nonsense, and I am not saying I endorse every aspect of it either, it is nevertheless true that, even among the most conservative and tribalistic MENAs (and also South Asians, East Asians, Latin Americans etc), at the very least they would not be AS upset about their children marrying Whites as they would were they to marry Blacks. And your last sentence is very revealing as well - is Iran really such a colourist society?

the quest for fair-skinned females in MENA countries or atleast in Iran is deeply embedded in this tribalistic traditional view that a masculine man has a chiseled face and tanned skin because he works hard in the sun while his female is fair and delicate because she is taken care of by him, she does not have to bear hardships in life except for raising family. Man fights the actual fight, the woman just helps him. It has nothing to do with Europe or the white world.

**Oghuz** · 12-31-2023, 08:18 PM

Originally Posted by sacha

For both men and women the partner is expected to have a good job and be classy, no crazy hair or many tattooes, the standards are high

That is actually true

**Tooting Carmen** · 12-31-2023, 08:21 PM

Originally Posted by Oghuz

the quest for fair-skinned females in MENA countries or atleast in Iran is deeply embedded in this tribalistic traditional view that a masculine man has a chiseled face and tanned skin because he works hard in the sun while his female is fair and delicate because she is taken care of by him, she does not have to bear hardships in life except for raising family. Man fights the actual fight, the woman just helps him. It has nothing to do with Europe or the white world.

So it is still very colourist, even if it isn't necessarily racist or Eurocentric in the true sense.