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Than you divorce. Spoiler alert: when you work, and are able to take care of yourself, it's much easier to land on your feet.
I have in a wider family such "traditional" woman with no job, 15 years of marriage and 4kids. I visited her in a hospital on Christmas after she tried to commit a suicide.
No physical violence. Just lovelessness, and it's mutual.
Affection existed somewhere at the beginning, but people change, and some very much so. Now she has nowhere to go, and is forced to continue living in a cage she created herself.
Finding a decent job is difficult now as well, cause she has been out of work market for many years, and have lost many social contacts.
Anyways, that's not the point Katarzyna was making.
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How I feel right now:
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I might be missing the distinction, but I still see this as an issue of wealth. Developing nations are starting to see some of the luxury the First World has known for a while. In that light, it's not surprising that birthrates are dropping there too. And while parents undoubtedly want to set their children up as well as possible, there's a standard of living element here too. The more wealth or spending money a society has, the more comforts they expect and the less willing they'll be to part with those comforts. Having more kids means doing with less. So I don't think it's all altruistic. People in America just expect that every kid is going to have three extracurriculars and braces and a nice wardrobe and hopefully some help with college. Parents literally think of another child as an expense upwards of hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Contraception is a good point. But it still ties in with the above. It just makes having fewer children, i.e. retaining wealth, that much easier. Would a dirt-poor, rural society have any use for contraception?
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I guess we have different worldviews. I was raised with a Christian worldview. I had to copy Philippians 2:3 quite a few times as a kid: "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves".
At any rate, my original point was bigger than that. If you can't see the long-term, collective benefits of patriotism and community strength, I don't know what to say. I guess the fact I have to defend it is a sign of the times.
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