Why women don't leave their abuser?

[rajputprincess]

On my discord server. There are some women who asked advice about their boyfriend/husband.like how to stop them from beating them. I don't know what they expect from me.i always tell them to leave their men. But they always make excuses why they can't.
I personally would leave my girlfriend if she was abusing me. So i can't understand why they don't do it.

[Mortimer]

Maybe they are too much dependant for some reason financially, emotionally or something on that man, it is difficult like a drug addiction to stop it or leave

[tita]

An IQ thing first

[Kess]

An IQ thing first

First time we agree.

[rothaer]

(...)

A very legit question.

Let me answer this question very clearly:

Because these women are assholes.

They do not have a bad intent and they don't have a bad "heart".

But they are attracted to assholes and they do breed with them new assholes and their breeding results are tormenting future mankind.

To me this is being asshole, no matter what is the intent. To my perception you can be an asshole out of weakness only. These women know exactly what the male assholes are like and they do suffer from them themselves and they nevertheless out of weakness and inconsequence do promote and reproduce such assholes.

There is zero excuse for that.

There was a German law philosopher, Rudolf v. Ihering (1818-1892), that elaborated in a book called (translated) A fight for right that you are violating the right if you do accept anyone violating your rights because this damages the right per se. In contrast to this you should be a defender and maintainer of right and that means that you are not even entiteled to waive your own rights.

I first (when I was kind of 22 yo) considered this wrong. That are my rights and I can to with them what I want, also waive them for whatever reason and let it be for convenience!

But I've changed my mind on this topic over decades.

Isn't it essentially some patethic people that are giving in to the the blackmailings of the mafia that do make the mafia at all relevant? Why does the mafia in Germany essentially only blackmail Italian compatriots and not Germans?

Because Germans - at least enough Germans - simply are not part of that game and the mafiosi can statistically not expect enough success when performing that sort of business on Germans. You need a shithole population, victims with a suitable mentality, to get a working business that way. And this is why I consider such victims assholes to the rest of humanity and why my empathy for them is pretty restricted.

Because of their indispensible function I even consider them co-perpetrators.

[rothaer]

An IQ thing first

I'm not sure. Even a just somewhat above average IQ is not sufficient to solve that problem. You need a pretty high IQ or simply a good instinct and some self-respect.

Spoiler!

At an early stage of the relationship with my wife I was pretty emotional. She had acted in a way that could not be accepted. In the current context the details are irrelevant. However, I grabbed her at her upper arms, pushed her to the bed and said in a plausible manner „I can break your jaw, if you like!“.

It did not happen more but she had visible haematomas at the arms. She said that whatever was the reason, such an action by me can not be accepted without consequences for principal reasons. I agreed. She suggested a punishment that common German law would forsee. We agreed on that and me paying such a compensation to her. I don’t exactly recall the amount but I think it was 300 euro.

Anything similar did not repeat in 17 years till now.

I tell this for making clear that I both do understand how such things can happen and that I don’t consider whatever compormises wrong. But you definitely have to act consequently and care for what’s up.

[catgeorge]

I think its the lack of culture
A man is not a man if he does not spend time with his family...and thats a cultural thing and obviously anyone that hurts anything weaker than himself is simply not a man. Full stop.