Attractiveness is not an antidote for loneliness

[Vessna]

Quite interesting stream from a psychiatrist Dr. Alok Kanojia exploring the flip side of being a physically attractive person. Our society views physical attractiveness as privilege that gives an advantage in life. If you’re attractive, especially if you’re a woman, it should be easy to make friends or find partners, but it’s not always the case. If you are an attractive person, people mostly care about your appearance and not so much about your personality. This objectification is quite unpleasant and often causes self-esteem problems, narcissistic reactions and, paradoxically, loneliness.

[~Elizabeth~]

Sometimes attractive people are treated harshly by people who are jealous of them. Also, some people may wrongly assume they are stuck up and unapproachable.

[Anglo-Celtic]

Sometimes attractive people are treated harshly by people who are jealous of them. Also, some people may wrongly assume they are stuck up and unapproachable.

That happened to me in high school. I was just shy and stupid around girls, even though many of them threw themselves at me.

[Petalpusher]

There is some truth to it, mostly the feeling of being alien among others and the worst being the expectations. You cant be funny or too intelligent because come on, you are not gonna be good looking and all that as well, give us a break... People tend to take everything you say at face value or wrongly, making you look pretentious or some will try to at least, so you learn to constantly weigh in everything you said that way.

For a man it's also kind of weird if your gf is not better looking than you are, you end up focusing on that maybe to some extremes and naturally that narrows a lot what you think you can have, choosing people you don't necessarily like. Generally the expectations are getting quickly out of reason, you can't have a normal future, it should be extraordinary, you should do great things. It's probably a good motivation but it's tiring sometimes.

On the flipside this is typically a 1st world problem, where people have way too much time on their hands and life is too easy that they can think about this. The reverse is likely much worse. Being ugly means you got to be intelligent or funny to compensate, you may not be healthy, clean, more perverted etc...

[Blondie]

This is true. Richie is also beautiful with playful eyes and he is lonely

[Immanenz]

some people have to work on themselves to be "socially attractive". You cant expect anything from others, the only thing you can control is how you conduct yourself and try to meet your social needs.

The problem with loners is they arent aware that socializing is more about having a great time rather than "making life long friends". If you have the ability to make friends- you do not need to have friends.
Similar in dating world- many people have too much expectations, fears etc. yet the most important thing is about having a great time and vibe with the partner. So people who are good in relating to others will have more partners and more fun- but still attractivness along with a "sexy" personality are crucial.

[Maria Sharapova]

From my experience neurotypical and attractive is a plus, while neurodivergent and attractive tends to be problematic

[Benyzero]

From my experience neurotypical and attractive is a plus, while neurodivergent and attractive tends to be problematic

Would you expand on it?

[Voskos]

As a non attractive guy, I have never been bullied by, or bullied, attractive people. We've always been on good terms. I understand that sometimes they might feel that way, but that's life, you can't have it all. If you're attractive, no shit, everyone who approaches you does it, among other reasons, because you're attractive. You can have an interesting personality on top of that but in the 21st century people care mostly about looks and success.

[Marmara]

That happened to me in high school. I was just shy and stupid around girls, even though many of them threw themselves at me.

Same lol.