There's somebody for everybody is a myth.

[Barreldriver]

Up for discussion today is the subject of "there's somebody for everybody". Cannot count the number of times I have heard this uttered and each time I hear it I disagree with it.

For one I can cite members of my own family (aunts and uncles) who have lived and died single, this first proves that it is possible to go a whole life without a romantic partner, the reasons for this rooted in some form of undesirability or premature death (more often it is undesirability in the cases of my relatives who have been in this situation). Not everyone is wanted, plain and simple.

I am of a mind that those who utter such foolishness are willfully blind as to make their situations more tolerable (more oft than not the folks I've heard utter this are single with little likelihood of being otherwise or are in a catastrophe of a relationship). If such an idea is what one chooses to believe I am inclined to think that one ought to keep it to themselves as to avoid putting false hopes in the hearts of folks who may remain single til death. It is an act of torture to continually pester an individual with that and related phrases setting them up for repeated disappointment.

Ask oneself, is it better to get shot five times in non-lethal areas and slowly bleed out or suffer to a death from infection (to be equated with they myth in question) or is it better to have a quick death shot to the head (to be equated with being convinced upfront that ye may never find somebody)?

[gossimer]

I believe in quasi fate and quasi anti fate all in one.

I think some people, like say, a gorgeous model woman who every guy in the room wants, are meant to "find" someone special in the end.

I also think some people are not meant to find someone in the end, like an unattractive whoever person for whatever reason physically.

I think fate can go both ways. Not all ugly people don't find someone and not all pretty people do find someone, though the way I think fate works is that generally uglies don't find someone as much as non uglies. I think fate has a penance so to speak to reality as well so it is by no means assured.

[arcticwolf]

There is nothing wrong with being single, agreed 100%. On the other hand, having someone to share life with is desirable for most, if not because they believe in love, then for the security and support factors. Those who are mentally strong and independent will tend to value freedom more than companionship. As to the question if there is somebody for everybody, that is only a matter of attitude. If you are willing to put up with imperfections of another and all the restrictions that relationship entails then there is and if not, there is not. It's all in the mind, no matter how you cut it.

[Sikeliot]

Just because someone dies single doesn't mean there isn't someone for them.. it means they never met the person who was right for them, who was likely out there and they just didn't cross paths. But maybe this is me being optimistic because I want to meet my special someone

[Barreldriver]

I believe in quasi fate and quasi anti fate all in one.

I think some people, like say, a gorgeous model woman who every guy in the room wants, are meant to "find" someone special in the end.

I also think some people are not meant to find someone in the end, like an unattractive whoever person for whatever reason physically.

I think fate can go both ways. Not all ugly people don't find someone and not all pretty people do find someone, though the way I think fate works is that generally uglies don't find someone as much as non uglies. I think fate has a penance so to speak to reality as well so it is by no means assured.

As for general unglies vs. non-uglies, I am inclined to think that the non-uglies who remain single have some other flaw with their character which would prevent them from forming relationships whether it was brought about by mental defect or traumatic past event.

I'd be careful with the word fate, it can be ambiguous at times and may not always account for those with an internal locus of control, I would agree with this subject as a matter of fate in the sense of a series of circumstances that befall someone, how the circumstances are brought about is variable.

[Barreldriver]

If you are willing to put up with imperfections of another and all the restrictions that relationship entails then there is and if not, there is not.

This aspect here depends on mutuality. One can have the mentality necessary to put up with the flaws of others and cope with the restrictions of a relationship but may not find someone to reciprocate for a variety of reasons which would otherwise make the seeker undesired.

[arcticwolf]

This aspect here depends on mutuality. One can have the mentality necessary to put up with the flaws of others and cope with the restrictions of a relationship but may not find someone to reciprocate for a variety of reasons which would otherwise make the seeker undesired.

Valid point. I assumed it but should have verbalized it.

[Drawing-slim]

There is nothing wrong with being single, agreed 100%. On the other hand, having someone to share life with is desirable for most, if not because they believe in love, then for the security and support factors. Those who are mentally strong and independent will tend to value freedom more than companionship. As to the question if there is somebody for everybody, that is only a matter of attitude. If you are willing to put up with imperfections of another and all the restrictions that relationship entails then there is and if not, there is not. It's all in the mind, no matter how you cut it.

I was thinking last 24 hrs as i had to wake up around noon today and play a WSOP event.
I was stressing about having to wake up before noon instead of 4-5 in the afternoon which i usually wake up.
Then i started to imagine being married and having to put up with someone elses schedule and sleeping paterns and hours for the rest of my life! i freaked out just imagining
I'm so used to simplify my life to a zen master level like, and as i get older the thought of marriage ane puting up with shit some of my married friends have to put up with "and claiming happily married" it sort of freaks me out.

[arcticwolf]

I was thinking last 24 hrs as i had to wake up around noon today and play a WSOP event.
I was stressing about having to wake up before noon instead of 4-5 in the afternoon which i usually wake up.
Then i started to imagine being married and having to put up with someone elses schedule and sleeping paterns and hours for the rest of my life! i freaked out just imagining
I'm so used to simplify my life to a zen master level like, and as i get older the thought of marriage ane puting up with shit some of my married friends have to put up with "and claiming happily married" it sort of freaks me out.

I know what you mean. I love being by myself, and living in the sticks. I can't even imagine having someone else order me around. I guess guys like us are doomed to be single. I'm not complaining though, I don't think you are either.

[Barreldriver]

I know what you mean. I love being by myself, and living in the sticks. I can't even imagine having someone else order me around. I guess guys like us are doomed to be single. I'm not complaining though, I don't think you are either.

I wish I had that mentality, I am one of those who is in a mostly solitary situation despite intentions. The conflict, though able to be coped with, takes its toll.