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Thread: A Few Jokes

  1. #531
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    Here is another long joke posted by a Moderator on the other forum I'm on.




    A blonde walks in a bank to get a loan. “I need to borrow $100 for a month,” she says.

    The banker frowns, but takes her information anyway. He runs her credit but can’t find a report. “I’m sorry,” he says, “but in the absence of a credit record, we’ll have to charge 20% interest on the loan, and you’ll need to put up collateral.

    “What does that mean?” the blonde says.

    “It means,” the banker says, “you’ll have to repay us $120, and you’ll need to give us something more valuable to hold onto until you pay us back.”

    “Something more valuable?” The blonde says. “How about my Ferrari?”

    The banker nearly snorts his coffee all over his desk, but he prides himself on customer service so he soldiers on. He runs the title on the Ferrari and what do you know, the blonde owns it free and clear. “Okay, he says, “I’ll print out the papers.”

    “Just so I understand,” the blonde says, “I give you my Ferrari and you give me a hundred dollars, right? And then in a month, I give you $120 and you give me my Ferrari back?”

    “Yes,” the banker says, “that’s the deal.”

    She signs the paperwork and hands him the keys. He counts out $100 for her and watches her saunter out the door.

    A month to the day later, he’s sitting at his desk when the blonde saunters back in. She hands him $120 and says “I get my car back, right?”

    “Yep, he says as he hands her the keys. She turns to go but he stops her. “Miss, I really have to ask, why did you use a $140,000 car as collateral on a $100 loan?”

    “Oh!” The blonde says. “I got called out of town unexpectedly on business. How else can I park a Ferrari for a month in Manhattan for only $20?”
    Spoiler!

  2. #532
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    The Moderators from my other forum like to post jokes. Here is another one.


    A conversation in heaven

    SYLVIA:
    Hi! Wanda.

    WANDA:
    Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?

    SYLVIA:
    I froze to death.

    WANDA:
    How horrible!

    SYLVIA:
    It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from
    the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy,
    and finally died a peaceful death.
    What about you?

    WANDA:
    I died of a massive heart attack.
    I suspected that my husband was cheating,
    so I came home early to catch him in the act.
    But instead, I found him all by himself
    in the den watching TV.

    SYLVIA:
    So, what happened?

    WANDA:
    I was so sure there was another woman
    there somewhere that I started running
    all over the house looking. I ran up into
    the attic and searched, and down into the
    basement. Then I went through every closet
    and checked under all the beds. I kept this up
    until I had looked everywhere, and finally
    I became so exhausted that I just keeled over
    with a heart attack and died.

    SYLVIA:
    Too bad you didn't look in the freezer
    ---we'd both still be alive.
    Spoiler!

  3. #533
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    Here is a joke from a member who went AWOL from the other forum.


    I have a Catholic chess set.
    The only problem is the bishops keep molesting the pawns.
    I can't get the king to do anything about it because he can hardly move.
    The queen has a lot of power but she is more interested in taking out her opponents.
    You would think the knights would help but all they do is ride off on a tangent.



    Then another member responded with "Bishop jumps Queen".

    Spoiler!

  4. #534
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    From another member of my other forum...


    Q: How many incels does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: None. They’ll just compliment it and get pissed when it won’t screw.
    Spoiler!

  5. #535
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    Another...




    A scene in a courtroom.


    A doctor is on the witness stand. The lawyer asks him,

    Did you check if the patient was breathing?

    No.

    Did you check if the patient had a pulse?

    No.

    Did you check if the patient had any reflexes?

    No.

    Then how could you be sure that he was in fact dead?

    Because his brain was in a jar on my desk.

    But couldn't it be possible that the patient was actually still alive?

    Yes, it's possible he could still be alive and practicing law somewhere.
    Spoiler!

  6. #536
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    From one of the Moderators on the other forum I'm on.


    Spoiler!

  7. #537
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    Here is one from a regular member of the other forum I'm on. It reads like an original joke.


    How many SF members does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    50.

    One to screw it in.

    Twelve to say “A woman’s place is in the home, let her do it.”

    Twelve to say “Feminism has ruined White Nationalism.”

    Eight to say “On this day, god let there be light. Christianity is the foundation for White civilization.”

    Six to say “Jesus was a jew! Christian’s are slaves to the jew!”

    Two to say “VNN is much brighter, plus you can say ******.”

    Two to say “Please deactivate my account.”

    Two to say “I am not white, am I welcome here?”

    One to say “You’re a troll and a jew and tranny and an anti!”

    One to say “No, you’re a troll and a negro and a queer and an anti!”

    One to say “You are just a fake sock puppet of that other account that I loathe!”

    One to say “egalitarian”, “litmus test”, and “Dr. William L. Pierce” and "FAGGOT" repeatedly.

    One to say “Thread locked.”
    __________________
    Spoiler!

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