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Thread: A Few Jokes

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    Fantastic!

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    Norway jokes are a pretty big thing in Sweden. Here's just a one out of thousands of others:

    Norway and Sweden are at war and the soldiers are buried in trenches but no one is dying.
    The Swedes come up with the idea to shout the most common Norwegian name. So they lie down in the trenches and shout "Olaf!". A Norwegian gets up and the Swedes shoot him. They continue in the same fashion until the Norwegians come to the conclusion that they are suffering too heavy losses. The Norwegians try to mimick the Swedes and shout "Björn!". ''Who's asking?'' the Swedes answer. ". A Norwegian gets up and says, "Olaf is!"

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    Few Jokes?

    This is a bunch of jokes and I love them all!

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    What kind of cans are there in Mexico?
    Mexicans.

    What do u call a group of stoned mexicans? Baked BEANS!!






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    haha






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    How do you make a Nazi cross?

    Stand on his corn.

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    What do you call a man having sex with a menstruating woman?

    Spoiler!
    “The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age.”

    - H.P. Lovecraft

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    Two guys from Michigan die and wake up in hell. The next day, the devil stops to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and bomber hats, warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"

    The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Michigan, the land of ice and snow and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, you know."

    The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning, he stops by again and there they are, still dressed in their parkas, mittens and hats. The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel that?"

    Again, the guys reply, "Well, like we told you yesterday, we're from Michigan, the land of ice and snow and cold. We're just happy to warm up a little bit, you know."

    The devil gets a little steamed up and he decides to fix the two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Michigan and finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer. The devil is astonished. "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you seem to be enjoying yourselves."

    The two Michiganders reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Michigan, we've just got to have a cookout when the weather is this nice."

    The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally, he comes up with an answer. These two love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. He decides to turn all the heat in hell off.

    The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, the people are shivering so bad, they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with the 2 Michiganders. He finds them back in their parkas, mittens and hats. They are jumping up and down and cheering. The devil was dumbfounded. "I don't understand. When I turn the heat up, you're happy. Now it's freezing cold, and you're happy. What is wrong with you two?"

    The Michiganders look at the devil in surprise. "Well, don't ya know - if hell froze over, that must mean - the Lions won the Super Bowl!"



    Wake up and smell the coffee.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Stimpy View Post
    Norway jokes are a pretty big thing in Sweden. Here's just a one out of thousands of others:

    Norway and Sweden are at war and the soldiers are buried in trenches but no one is dying.
    The Swedes come up with the idea to shout the most common Norwegian name. So they lie down in the trenches and shout "Olaf!". A Norwegian gets up and the Swedes shoot him. They continue in the same fashion until the Norwegians come to the conclusion that they are suffering too heavy losses. The Norwegians try to mimick the Swedes and shout "Björn!". ''Who's asking?'' the Swedes answer. ". A Norwegian gets up and says, "Olaf is!"
    We have exactly the same joke about the Belgians. Only we call him "Sjefke"



    Wake up and smell the coffee.


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