Emotional Intimacy

[Frigga]

What are your thoughts on emotional intimacy? Do you have it in your life with anyone? What do you feel about people who are reserved and reluctant to be emotionally intimate with anyone? What do you think of people who push emotional intimacy onto others? Is it a healthy or unhealthy practice in either case? What do you think of emotional intimacy between friends of the same sex, and between friends of the opposite sex as opposed to family members or lovers? Or the lack of it in the human experience?

[Stefan]

Can you quantify this concept. It seems a bit too vague for me to understand. Does it mean any type of emotional exchange or is there a degree of depth that is required?

I'm very systematizing. One friend of mine explains her emotional state to me, and asks for advice, because apparently I give good advice, but usually I just use logic; aggregating the pros and cons. I don't really empathize, if that makes sense. I don't think I can empathize in many of her situations. They're too abstract for me, and I usually just pick whichever option has the most pros vs the least cons.

Due to my systematizing nature, I really don't have a need for exchanges of emotions, with the exception for ones that are used to distance myself, if I'm feeling agitated or 'closed in', for example. I'm very internalized, and don't find having others empathizing with my situation much helpful or useful, unless they can add something to enhance(or dilute if negative) such emotions. Much of my emotions such as happiness, sadness, anger, and all the basics are more individual than communal. The emotions of others barely register with me, but if I do recognize them I put in an effort to empathize.

In the end I'm an extreme introvert. I don't like expressing my emotions, and for most people, I don't like hearing about their emotions, particularly if they're negative. I enjoy keeping my emotions within, so that I can filter out the more irrational 'moods' and 'feelings' from my conduct and behavior. The emotions I deem suitable I will cherish exclusively to myself, as usually I'm the only one who has them at the particular situations, whereas in other situations I have no emotional response, yet most other people do. So it's quite complex.

On the internet this is less evident because I'm more honest and my filter is far weaker.

[Frigga]

Can you quantify this concept. It seems a bit too vague for me to understand. Does it mean any type of emotional exchange or is there a degree of depth that is required?

My hope was for the discussion of what would be intimacy for you, what do you feel about the exchange of what goes on in your inner being, with friends, family, and others. You posted very well on this point by the way.

I'm very systematizing. One friend of mine explains her emotional state to me, and asks for advice, because apparently I give good advice, but usually I just use logic; aggregating the pros and cons. I don't really empathize, if that makes sense. I don't think I can empathize in many of her situations. They're too abstract for me, and I usually just pick whichever option has the most pros vs the least cons.

Due to my systematizing nature, I really don't have a need for exchanges of emotions, with the exception for ones that are used to distance myself, if I'm feeling agitated or 'closed in', for example. I'm very internalized, and don't find having others empathizing with my situation much helpful or useful, unless they can add something to enhance(or dilute if negative) such emotions. Much of my emotions such as happiness, sadness, anger, and all the basics are more individual than communal. The emotions of others barely register with me, but if I do recognize them I put in an effort to empathize.

In the end I'm an extreme introvert. I don't like expressing my emotions, and for most people, I don't like hearing about their emotions, particularly if they're negative. I enjoy keeping my emotions within, so that I can filter out the more irrational 'moods' and 'feelings' from my conduct and behavior. The emotions I deem suitable I will cherish exclusively to myself, as usually I'm the only one who has them at the particular situations, whereas in other situations I have no emotional response, yet most other people do. So it's quite complex.

On the internet this is less evident because I'm more honest and my filter is far weaker.

Thank you for your honesty Stefan. I very much appreciated it.

[PetiteParisienne]

Emotional intimacy is one of the treasures that makes life worth living.

[Mortimer]

Emotional intimacy is one of the treasures that makes life worth living.

agree, i would like to have it too

[Marmie Dearest]

I think it is very important to have emotional intimacy with same-sex friends as well as your romantic partner or future spouse. That emotional intimacy may be with a mother, sister, or even a friend outside of the family, but for me personally it is vital to not feeling "alone" and like I am understood and cared for.

It is a different feeling that simply having a friend to spend time with or share activities with.

[Marmie Dearest]

On the internet this is less evident because I'm more honest and my filter is far weaker.

I am like this too. Not that I am unemotional in my daily life, but that I am more honest and have less of a "filter" on-line, as it is more like writing letters from a distance.