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Not any more. Thankfully I'm ok now.
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It's weird, sometimes you forget that everyone on here is a person with their own life full of problems and fears until you see a thread like this. I hope all of you are okay.
Personally, I've struggled with depression for as long as I can remember. It's all identity issues with me.
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If physical illnesses were treated like mental illnesses.
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Thanks for your considerate words, I appreciate it. I'm not seeking empathy or pity from people, nor do I want to burden others with my own problems, but I wanted to share and contribute this to make anyone else with their own problems know that they're not alone with this. Initially I was too afraid to say anything here about it for fear people would use it against me, so it took several months for me to pluck-up the courage to contribute to this thread.
I went into hospitals as a child as I'd lock myself away at school from the other children and was afraid of people. My mum found me hiding in the attack one day as I was too afraid to go to school and another time I took an overdose just to avoid going to school. I've had stays in hospitals before I was even an adult, but I've always been a quiet person who likes my own company and would get nervous around other children at school, especially the bullies and loud people who I found overbearing and draining.
I had to finish my school education in a hospital where there was 3 people to a class, but I met some lovely patients whilst staying there, it was a small quiet hospital in the countryside for teenagers suffering from acute psychiatric problems, such as eating disorders, phobias and depression, and I felt able to relate to them more.
Since taking the anti-depressants regularly, my mood has definitely improved. I'm not happy or 'high' (some people mistake anti-depressants as making people feel 'happy'), I just feel more stable. I used to lay helplessly in my bed shutting the world out and not wanting people to see that I wasn't coping. I used to keep wondering why this was happening to me, why I couldn't help myself to snap out of it. That was the worst part in feeling I couldn't help myself.
I wasn't intentionally trying to lose weight, it's just that my appetite got lost in the midst of the depression. Then the doctors would find me and take me into hospital. I try my best to eat healthily again now, and I drink complan on days when I don't feel like eating (which provides vitamins and nutrients in a milk-based drink). I take vitamin supplements too. All this has helped me and things are improving, but there's still a long way to go. I can see light at the end of the tunnel now, and I have more confidence in things getting better now, whereas before the treatment, the situation seemed so hopeless.
I think there's lots of people with problems in life and they can also wear a mask in society in pretending to be fine when asked - it's actually the lie people tell the most when people say, "I'm fine''.
❀♫ ღ ♬ ♪ And the angle of the sun changed it all. ❀¸.•*¨♥✿ 🎶
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Never diagnosed, but if I tried to find something I'd surely find. I think I'm better being willfully ignorant this time.
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Have had following dxes over 41 years of psychiatric treatment- schizophrenia,schizoaffective mixed type,personality disorder NOS and paranoid personality disorder.
Symptoms include anxiety(general and social) mood swings depression paranoia problems with perception/planning/and social interaction very poor social skills.
I am not fond of DSM/ICD psychiatric diagnoses and prefer to describe myself as having currently primary anxiety with secondary mood and thought problems.
Have been on risperdal consta depot since 2009( before that other antipsychotics, mood stabilisers and occasional anti depressants.
Also possible learning difficulty- never diagnosed (much higher verbal than non verbal IQ) and nearer to non verbal learning disorder than aspergers.
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Yes, I'm an aspie.................Common among children of engineers looooool
Last edited by Jana; 12-15-2014 at 08:01 AM.
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