What should married women call themselves?

[Æmeric]

That's coz Bill cheated on her with Monica

It goes way back before Monica & that stained blue dress. Even back during the 1992 Democratic primary process she referred to her marriage as a "partnership". Not as a marriage. She was a partner. Then she made that remark about not being like Tammy Wynette, "standing by my man". Too bad Wynette died just before that Lewinsky affair blew up.

[YOUTUBE]DwBirf4BWew[/YOUTUBE]

For Hillary.

[Beorn]

I think "wife" is the designation after a religious marriage.

"Wife" is the name for a female. A female child is 'Wifcild', womankind is 'Wifcynn' and so on.

Me and my "partner" aren't married and never will be, but she is still my wife and my wíffréond; even if she stays wífléas.

[Ariets]

I think "wife" is the designation after a religious marriage.

By the way, I personally think that marriages should not be regulated by the state, but by churches, synagogue, mosque etc. } generally by religions, cause marriage (at least I think that) was allways a spiritual experience and conncected to faith, religion et cetera.

I don't recognize myself a state-marriages as a marriages at all...

[Aemma]

I use Mrs. as a designation all the time. I don't care for Ms. much. I think that Miss is sadly underused as well. Occasionally I'll use the genderless "candidate" for kicks. But I do have a double-barreled surname, yes hyphenated (mine+Tolleson's). Officially it is not hyphenated but since our son's name IS hyphenated I adopted the hyphen as well. Why both names? Well I wanted to keep my link with my French Canadian identity (I have an English first name you see). I am proud of who I am, an ethnic French Canadian. I didn't want to lose that. Why does our son have a double-barreled name, same reason: he is also partly French Canadian and since my father didn't have any sons, it became a way for my son to carry on our family's name. Our son is proud of the lineage he has from both sides of his family; he's never complained about having a double-barreled name either. Besides you can always recognise him on the ice when he's playing hockey: one of the few kids with a very long family name.

Tolleson has never minded the double-barreled name; it's never been an issue for him. It WAS an issue for his parents and my own father (oddly enough) when we got married but my in-laws have mellowed out about this over time since their own granddaughters have done/will be doing the same thing: have a double-barreled surname and kids with such too.

Oh and friends do refer to us as both The family or The . On occasion Tolleson's even been called Mr. ! He's always been a great sport about it. (Well let's face it, he would have to be a great sport, period. He did marry me afterall!)

I should also add that Tolleson equally had the choice to use a double-barreled name and chose not too. and that never bothered me either!

We also refer to each other as husband and wife. Always have. It's nice and that is what our vows were: to be husband and wife (oh and none of this "man and wife" business nor was the word "obedience" ever used btw ...would you really expect anything less from me now? ) Besides the terms "husband" and "wife" are good proper English words that really do have meaning and a long tradition.

Well that's my chiming in on this one.

Cheers!...Mrs. Tolleson

[Skandi]

I don't see how wife can be sexist, if it is then so is Husband. I have no objections to being somebody's wife, although I will not be Mrs James Smith, That is going to far Mrs (my first name) Smith would be fine though. I have no particular attachment to my surname, I am the only one in the family who has it anyway. My Aunt kept her maiden name, (hyphenated) but that was because she had a career as a successful research scientist and it was therefore easier for her to keep the name the same.
The only time I would consider not taking the mans name is if he had a ridiculous one, my ex's mothers maiden name was Earwicker, For cases like that I might object!

[Beorn]

I will not be Mrs James Smith, That is going to far

I agree. I always thought it strange that custom had it that way.

[Óttar]

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5yH0I6u3dk[/YOUTUBE]

[anonymaus]

I am not a huge fan of monogamy or marital exclusivity: not because I need to dip my pen in different ink every day, but because I hate feeling tied down or trapped; I think my diction would reflect that position in terms of what I prefer

My partner, on the other hand, can call herself whatever she likes so long as it indicates our convolution.

[Osweo]

The only time I would consider not taking the mans name is if he had a ridiculous one, my ex's mothers maiden name was Earwicker, For cases like that I might object!

Man, I might even consider changing surnames if my fiancee was an Earwigger! Earwicker, sorry...

Actually, sounds delightfully Anglo-Saxon. Such names need preserving, and the bad attitude towards OUR OWN heritage as something 'quaint' or 'laughable' needs a serious reexamining...


Anyway, could we set up a poll, perhaps? I would be adamant on my wife taking my name. I might consider her doubling it, but wouldn't dream of doing that myself, or of passing such on to our children. I know a man in Russia, who has a very English surname, but stuck his wife's absurdly Russian-Jewish surname on the end of it. Something not far from Saunderson-Yakubovsky... I always thought that the last name in a double was considered the senior partner in the relationship, too! I recall English aristocrats leaving serious provisos about this sort of thing in their wills, for instance! Cavendish-Bentincks over Bentinck-Cavendishes!

No, for me to consider double-barrelling it, it'd have to be a real major sort of name - Schleswig-Holstein-Oldenburg-Battenberg-Windsor-MacOssu, for instance...

I always liked the Spanish system, with its male AND female elements. Seems even biologically sensible, given inheritance of y chromosomes and mitochondria down exactly these lines, to the exclusion of all others. But I am English and it's not our tradition.

Here's a curious thing though; I know a woman in Russia, who uses her mother's surname. First of all, it was due to the difficult pronunciation of her father's non-Russian Qazaq name, and later on she retained it for professional reasons. Now however, she's concocted some rationale behind keeping it as a female surname, and has given it her daughter, while her son took her husband's name. Quite interesting. The surname she has might also have become extinct otherwise, being quite rare in Russia, if not unique. That is also some grounds for flexibility, I suppose, and quite in line ideologically with maximum preservation of cultural traits...


As for this 'Ms' mizzzz thing, it's just plain irritating and confusing. Can anyone use it aloud and not feel absurd?

[Aemma]

I always liked the Spanish system, with its male AND female elements. Seems even biologically sensible, given inheritance of y chromosomes and mitochondria down exactly these lines, to the exclusion of all others.

What is the Spanish system btw Ozzi? I'm not familiar with it.

I once knew a couple who were Polish Canadian. The couple had just the one surname (as did the kids) which was his, but they used a masculine and a feminine form. So he and their son went by the surname Fijalkowski, and she and their daughter went by the surname Fijalkowska. I'm not sure if this is actually a Polish tradition but it sounded pretty great to me.