Россия
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Russian Mail Order Brides: Why Russian women look abroad
This is from a case study I found here: http://www1.american.edu/ted/bride.htm
I know it is a lot of text to read, but I found it quite interesting. Please try to read most of it before commenting. I am especially interested in the opinions of Russian women here, and how they view their future as wives and mothers.
I am highlighting in red what stood out to me when I was reading the article.
"Match-maker, Match-maker make me a match..."
The concept of arranged marriages is almost as old as the institute of marriage itself. Various cultures around the world have at one time or another advocated the arrangement of marriage between two individuals through the medium of a match-maker or other third party. It is within the last century that the "mail-order bride" became a part of the American lexicon. Settlers were moving west, where traditionally men outnumbered the women in the population. Men would correspond with marriage-minded women "back East," become engaged and either marry their brides by proxy or marry immediately upon the bride's arrival to her new home. It is within the last twenty-five years that this practice revived, mainly in Asian nations 1. It is with the collapse of the Soviet Empire that a new market has opened up to Western men. There are many reasons that Russian women are seeking husbands, and why Western men seem to desire Russian wives.
Mother Russia
A Russian woman's lot in life is not the easiest. Brutal economic conditions weigh down even the strongest of people. However, Russian women are at a distinct disadvantage. To some they are treated as second-class citizens and are the victims out-moded patriarchal stereotypes. Even Russian feminists, those who are supposed to be the champions of women and equality, can be seen describing housework as unfitting for men.2 The ideal Russian woman is described as possessing "gentleness, sensitivity, maternal instincts and the capacity to love." 3 With the Russian Revolution of 1917, one would think women's roles would change, as Marx himself called for the integration of women into productive labor in order to emancipate them.4 However, the main factor that drew women into the workforce was the exceptionally low wages paid by the state.5 There was no way a single working parent could afford to provide a minimum living standard for a family. Therefore both parents were forced to work in order to make ends meet.6 However, this did not change the status of women. Even though 90% of women were employed, and made up 52% of the national labor force,7 women still occupied very low places of prominence in Russian life.
The New Soviet Woman
Soviet propagandists have always highlighted the fact that 80% of its teachers and doctors are women. 8 Westerners are ignorant of the fact that in Russia these jobs are among the least prestigious. As a former teacher, the author earned 450,000 rubles a month in 1996 while a street sweeper (another position dominated by women) earned almost 1 million rubles a month. Employment and the government today still favors male workers even though they might be less qualified or reliable.9 As a result, women earn only 43% of men's salaries. 10 Due to this favoritism, women are more likely to be laid off; resulting in the fact that 75% of all unemployed in Russia are women.11 Russian women are forced to work full-time and then face the full-burden of domestic work at home. 12 Is it any wonder that Russian women see mail-order bride agencies as an opportunity to finally have a better life? With an American husband, Russian women not only gain the much-sought after goal of securing a husband but now also have the added bonus of an improved life.
"Bring me a ring for I am longing to be the envy of all I can see"
Another cause of the plethora of available Russian brides is that a major part of Russian culture for women is marriage. From the earliest times, marriage was seen as the most important point in a woman's life.13
Conventional wisdom considers any women over the age of twenty-two an old maid.14 Russian women also face statistical barriers. There are 3,361,255 more women than men aged 15-64. 15 Due to the deteriorating health system and the high rate of heart disease, the average life expectancy for men is 58 years while the life expectancy for women is 71.16 As a result, women have been under immense pressure to marry. Marriage and motherhood are major cornerstones in Russian culture. With this in mind, the government has traditionally supported this through special economic aid to couples, especially new parents. Special economic aid has resulted in a decrease in the average age of first marriages for women. Eighteen is now a normal age to marry. As teacher of the 11th grade, the author was shocked to see how many young women in my class were engaged at the age of 17 and planning their weddings after graduation. Unlike other developing nations, this does not result in a decrease in education. On the contrary, a large number of Russian women continue their education after marriage. However the result is paradoxical - an educated woman married at 18, that still maintains subordinate female gender roles.
"…find me a find, catch me a catch."
Russian women want something better. A large number of Russian women prefer American men. "'Our [Russian] men treat women like objects…They drink, they smoke, they have bad hygiene and care only about themselves. These Americans don't smoke or drink. They really seem to want to settle down and take care of their family.'"17 But what about these "dream men"? What draws successful Western men towards mail-order bride agencies? The majority of men who participate in these services are white, educated, around 37 years old, and are ideologically conservative.18 These men are tired of "career-obsessed" women and see Russian women as less materialistic and more appreciative of men.19 Many men are just frustrated by the American dating scene. One potential groom describes his searches through bars, clubs coffee-houses, laundry mats and grocery stores with no success.20 Russian women are seen as ideal over other nationalities as they "'have a European face but the patience of an Asian.'"21 Russian women are seen as more feminine and more traditional; while Russian women see American men as more considerate, more ambitious, and less inclined to drunkenness.22 Western men see Russian women as more mature and usually more educated than their Asian counterparts. 23 From the author's own observations, Russian culture puts emphasis in women looking feminine and well-groomed at all times. Is it any wonder then that American men are attracted to the idea of finding an educated, good-looking wife who will appreciate the simpler things in life?
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Originally Posted by Zmey Gorynych
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