I am now listening to ...

[gıulıoımpa]

[♥ Lily ♥]

Such a sad story. My best friend in college went to the hospital and I remember how traumatic that was for her.

Have you seen Korn? I saw them in 2002 or so, it was wild.

Hi, I've never seen Korn perform live and I only know that one song by them which the Croatian female showed to me.

I'm sorry for your friend. (Hospital is traumatic because you're feeling at your most fragile and vulnerable, and suddenly you're surrounded by some very loud and crazy people who threaten to hurt and kill others, smash chairs and plates at the dinner table, are volatile and unpredictable, urinate and defacate on the floors, walk around with no clothes on, bang and shout all night, etc. It's a scary environment and I didn't find it therapeutic.

The nurses act more like security guards than nurses. Some of them struggled to speak and understand clear English. The African male nurses walk into the female patients rooms even when you're in the shower... they switch the lights on every hour at night over your bed to check you've not harmed yourself. It's a routine procedure that disturbs your sleep.... so you need sleeping pills to get any sleep with other patients banging and shouting at night. They monitor where you are every hour of the day and night. They don't let people have cigarette lighters, coathangers, phone chargers, etc.

They check all your pockets and clothes and bags upon entry, and they won't even let you keep your phone charger (risk of strangling yourself.) They check under your tongue that you've taken your pill. They sometimes accidentally give you the wrong pill in the morning (sleeping pill.)

Some of the nurses provoke the patients to get a reaction. A Finnish patient suddenly lost his temper to an African-Indian male nurse who was a nasty piece of work as he bullied a lot of patients. He ended-up being thrown to the floor and injected whilst I saw that bully nurse laughing.

My Croatian friend said she was crying about her dead son to a doctor on her ward one day, and the psychiatrist was drunk. There was a lot of complaints from patients about that drunk doctor. Luckily I never met that Dr.

You don't know when you're able to leave as they don't give you a set leaving date initially. Patients are made to feel like criminals, when it's supposed to be a 'therapeutic environment.'

It takes about 2 weeks upon being hospitalised for the initial shock, bewilderment, confusion, anxiety, and fear to subside. It takes a while for the medication to start working, and then years of therapy and counselling sessions. I've been taking prescribed medication for years, but have managed fine in life without antidepressant pills for several months now. I know the warning signs of a relapse.)

[♥ Lily ♥]

Dave Gahan (in the English dark electro band Depeche Mode) was placed in a strait-jacket and was hospitalised in the US after his numerous overdoses and suicide attempts... has now made a full recovery.

'Out of your weaknesses you will find your strengths.' Freud.

[♥ Lily ♥]

[Larali]

Hi, I've never seen Korn perform live and I only know that one song by them which the Croatian female showed to me.

I'm sorry for your friend. (Hospital is traumatic because you're feeling at your most fragile and vulnerable, and suddenly you're surrounded by some very loud and crazy people who threaten to hurt and kill others, smash chairs and plates at the dinner table, are volatile and unpredictable, urinate and defacate on the floors, walk around with no clothes on, bang and shout all night, etc. It's a scary environment and I didn't find it therapeutic.

The nurses act more like security guards than nurses. Some of them struggled to speak and understand clear English. The African male nurses walk into the female patients rooms even when you're in the shower... they switch the lights on every hour at night over your bed to check you've not harmed yourself. It's a routine procedure that disturbs your sleep. They monitor where you are every hour of the day and night. They don't let people have cigarette lighters, coathangers, phone chargers, etc.

They check all your pockets and clothes and bags upon entry, and they won't even let you keep your phone charger (risk of strangling yourself.) They check under your tongue that you've taken your pill twice each day. They sometimes accidentally give your the wrong pill in the morning (sleeping pill.)

Some of the nurses provoke the patients to get a reaction. A Finnish patient suddenly lost his temper to an African-Indian male nurse who was a nasty piece of work as he bullied a lot of patients. He ended-up being thrown to the floor and injected whilst I saw that bully nurse laughing.

My Croatian friend said she was crying about her dead son to a doctor on her ward one day, and the psychiatrist was drunk. There was a lot of complaints from patients about that drunk doctor. Luckily I never met that Dr.

You don't know when you're able to leave as they don't give you a set leaving date initially. Patients are made to feel like criminals, when it's supposed to be a 'therapeutic environment.'

It takes about 2 weeks upon being hospitalised for the initial shock, bewilderment, confusion, anxiety, and fear to subside. It takes a while for the medication to start working, and then years of therapy and counselling sessions. I've been taking prescribed medication for years, but have managed fine in life without antidepressant pills for several months now. I know the warning signs of a relapse.)

Yeah. It was my fault she got sent there, too. I made her go to the emergency room after a suicide attempt and they Baker acted her.

I can imagine that was a very scary experience, Lily. Thanks for sharing.

[Ülev]

Allez les bleus, on est tous avec vous ---> https://youtu.be/9ku9s0CKbpY

[♥ Lily ♥]

American Gothic Queen, history buff on Victorian English society, a choir singer, classical viola player, a violinist, harpsichord player, etc, Emily Autumn.

(She was raped multiple times in her childhood and she's diagnosed with Manic Depression (Bipolar) and was sectioned into a hospital once. She has a tattoo on her arm with her hospital patient number on it as she said she was treated like 'just a number' in hospital, rather than a human with feelings. She said she had to write her songs with crayons on paper as the hospital wouldn't let her have a pencil or pen.)

'I would give anything for a cure for my illness.' Emily Autumn. She makes a lot of poetry and songs about Victorian era asylums. She wants her music to make others aware that they're not alone, even though many unwell people feel isolated and afraid to speak about their illnesses because of the stigmas in society.

That's mostly what the doctors and nurses say in hospital 'take the pill' and 'get back in the medication queue/line'.

'Take the pill that keeps you quiet... take the pill that makes you feel sick... take the pill that kills your sex drive... you no longer rule your body... you no longer own those rights.... you will wake up when we say so... you will sleep when we shut out the lights.... best that you're not procreating... best that you don't multiply... better still, let's sterilise you... take this pill... the doctor's standing by.... that's all you've got to lose... that's funny. Pull down your skirt... and yes, it's going to hurt. Well I'm a doctor and you're just a crazy f*ckin' bitch! Who will you believe?' 'Just be careful what you say.... today could be your day...'


Beautifully sung. I also like her song 'Tea Will Rock You!' and 'Is It My Body?'


Emily features tea and comedy during her live performances and she likes to include the audiences as being 'at one' with her, rather than mere spectators, as well as fire-eaters and fire-dancers... and live performances with her pet rats.

Awesome firedancing by the female 'Maggots' at 0:53 'What is a day without a blessed night? And what is peace without a blessed fight? The obession with death... the obsession with death... becomes a way of life.'

[♥ Lily ♥]

Emily (an asexual due to her medications) invented the music genre 'Victoriandustrial'. She incoporates her spoken poetry and her love of Victorian England with her violin and harpsichord playing.

'No flat E strings for you... only the best for my audiences.' Emily Autumn, classical violinist, viola player and harpischord player. I like her songs 'Manic Depression', 'Mad Girl', 'Thank God I'm Pretty', 'Gentlemen Aren't Nice,' 'Crazy Why He Calls Me', etc.


'I want my innocence back... or I will cut you down... you'll pay for this, I swear.'


3:30 Emily crying out 'God help me' over and over and over... but he doesn't answer.

[♥ Lily ♥]

I love this short piece of Victoriandustrial poety/music. (Emilie is a huge fan of Shakespeare.)

1:52 'If he says he loves you... perhaps he loves you now...' gunshots.


Such an angelic singing voice. She plays the violin and harpsichord beautifully too.


Emilie and her beloved pet rats... multi-talented musician Emilie created the song 'The Rat Game'. Emilie has been around much longer than Lady Gaga.

[♥ Lily ♥]

2:18 Emilie puts an audience member in his place. "You're in my house now bitch! I would ask you to spell it, but I don't think you could."


'Classical music rocks... it's the best!' Emilie Autumn.