The Women of Britain Aren't as good-looking as their European sisters

[Creeping Death]

AA Gill on British beauty
British Beauty The Women of This Country Aren't As Good-Looking As Their European Sisters, But Their Inner Beauty Can More Than Make Up For It

AA Gill.

I’m writing this from the south of France. Provence is hot. The whited limestone flags are hot. The Roman ruins are hot. The figs and the flaking alleés of plane trees are hot. The black bulls in the field are bloody hot.

And naturellement, the girls are très chaudes. They’re hot, cycling along in little summer dresses. They’re hot, looking sulky and existentialist in town squares. They’re hot in pedal pushers and espadrilles. The waitresses are hot in waistcoats. They’re hot, with black hairy pits.

Hot with ponytails. Hot with gamine bobs, and hot carrying straw baskets of peaches. They’re hot, because everything is hot. French girls look beautiful because we expect them to be beautiful. Because this is the home of beauty and, most important, because they confidently demand that you find them beautiful.

In truth, forensically, if you look with a disinterested eye at French girls, they’re not genetically blessed. If you took a hot French girl and said she was a Belgian, she would become tepid. Belgium is not a nation of beauties; it’s a nation of confectioners and war-grave janitors.

This is the greatest truth, perhaps the only truth, about pulchritude: beauty is not in the eye of the beholder; it is in the eyeliner of the beholden. Beauty is a birthright; it is also a sleight of hand. It is a distraction.

It is the nurture of nature. When I fly back to England, I know that I will notice two things: the old place will look surprisingly and miraculously green, and the girls will look like recycling bin bags full of windfalls, ...

I have found some stunningly beautiful British girls but with one caveat.....summer teeth. You know.....summer here, summer there.



Ms. Keely of Great Britain, presented here solely for forensic study and evaluation, of course.

[Sally]

But nothing could be worse than English girls when they make an effort, dressed up for a night out: it’s then that they reach the heights of precipitous frightfulness. The clacking cankles. The tortured hair. The evil clown’s make-up. Predatory breasts, like pink water bombs. Flapping arms and glistening chins, and second-division mouths. The farmyard aggression and the zoo sex. It’s not just a class thing; it’s not only chavvy ladettes in the provinces. Look at the state of the totty tumbling out of Boujis, or waving chipped-nailed fingers at Glastonbury. Go to any £1,000-a-head charity ball and see the English memsahib, 3st above her fighting weight, swagged in a gypsy’s shower curtain, with a barnet that might have been spun in a sugary centrifuge. The granny jewellery and the blue eye shadow, the unhumpable hell of them all.

That's about the funniest thing I've read in a loooong time.

[Loki]

The women of this country aren't as good-looking as their European sisters, but their inner beauty can more than make up for it

That's a load of bollocks. Says who? Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. Unless of course they're Danish or Swedish, then beauty is an established fact.

[Beorn]

Yes, I hear smelling like a whorehouse and not shaving your armpits is all the rage in Europe.

I'd rather have one British Isles girl to any ten continentals. Better looks, better souls and more fight and guts to them.

[Psychonaut]

Since I think Keltic Nordid women are the best looking type of women, I have no choice but to love the British.

[Amapola]

I never understood the bad press that British people have concerning looks... Who invented it and when did it start? They are one of my favourite looking people in Europe anyway.

[ikki]

blue eyeshade

mom did that for whole lot of years, until i asked around 14yo why she did that... and why always exactly the same.. must have been doing the very same for 10 years.
That stopped her
A few months later i resumed.

But a year later still ended permanently

[Atlas]

I was probably way too young to be interested in English women more than a decades ago when I was there.

Now the british women I sometimes meet, I find them quite good looking. Bizarre post.

[Óttar]

Nonsense. I just love ladies with pasty, ruddy British Isles skin and strawberry blonde hair.

[British and Proud]

In my experience there isn't a British look. Welsh women tend to be dark (think Catherine Zeta Jones), Scottish women tend to be less attractive, shall we say...