Single Mother (Reality Check)

[Insuperable]

I think it is still good if they find together, i mean her and Stears, because he is the father of her child, and for a child it is better to have the father then a single mum or stepfather. I like Scarface as person or human, and hope she will be well. Good luck Scarface

Same here. I also wouldn't want she finds a Croatian man.

[Scarface F]

I think it is still good if they find together, i mean her and Stears, because he is the father of her child, and for a child it is better to have the father then a single mum or stepfather. I like Scarface as person or human, and hope she will be well. Good luck Scarface

Thank you Morti! I sincerely wish all the best to you too!

[Varda]

....

[Scarface F]

One my distant cousin brought wife to the family house where his parents live, even his grandmother lived there in that time (she died few years later). His wife wanted they live in another place and not with his parents (they had place), but he indisted to live with his parents. They have 3 children, one teenager (about 15) and two 7-8 years old. His parents active participated in raising those children on a daily basis and still participate. It is much better than they live in an apartment with children far away from his parents.

For our peasant ancestors it was normal than woman live in the house of her husband together with his parents, grandparents and even brother and his wife/children.

My controlling mother poisoned my relationship with Stears a great deal. I wouldn't repeat same mistake twice.
I agree with Victor. Except that on family property one child should stay, so it stays in the family for generations to come.

I'm planning to move to central Croatia (not Zagreb) next year. I live here alone, but parents are close and my mother would try to drive Stears away, I know it. She hates him.

[Scarface F]

Ah yes. The classic 'women know women and they don't like each other'. I know my grandmother knew to make my mom angry, but as years went by she became the exact copy of my grandmother. She finds out who I am dating, asks numerous questions and then lays what she doesn't like about her. I can't imagine what would happen if I am married.

Long story short. Every woman should listen to her mother in law because in the end the chances are she will become her.

I suffer same issues. Yes, I know what you are talking about.

[tropicalslavic]

My controlling mother poisoned my relationship with Stears a great deal. I wouldn't repeat same mistake twice.
I agree with Victor. Except that on family property one child should stay, so it stays in the family for generations to come.

I'm planning to move to central Croatia (not Zagreb) next year. I live here alone, but parents are close and my mother would try to drive Stears away, I know it. She hates him.

Back in the day my mom tried to sabotage a lot of my relationships too. She HATED my husband. Was convinced he was gonna steal me away from her and that he was a terrible dude and kept making fun of him for being short. A lot of stuff happened between now and then, but now they both get along. I would tell you not to lose hope but you'd have to be able to get through your mom's stubbornness about why this guy is so bad. By the way I know nothing about Stears so I'm just assuming she's being a typical controlling Eastern European mom.

[Scarface F]

You wanted a Croatian man only after being a single mom. Your dating pool is automatically narrowed to max. What did you expect.

It was not the reason, believe me. Before I met Stears I had same issues. I just found Hungarian society more accepting of eccentic and peculiar people like me than Croatian one. Stears too. He is well accepted and respected among his Hungarian friends, coworkers etc. Nobody thinks he is a problem because he is unusual or autistic. In here, he was laughed at. They are just more civilised.

Yes, Stears is quite humble. And from my experience it's women who are arrogant and spoiled, demanding and entitled.

It's quite cringe to claim to know how many kids Croatian men want on average. I personally with my life long interaction with men, cousins, acquitances, friends don't know how much kids does average Croatian man want. It's like you lately personally convinced yourself that you want 5 kids in order to cope with some things.

I always wanted lage family, ever since I was a child. Those are just my observations. I understand some men don't want to date me, but they do have girlfriends now, they are nationally aware and almost none has wife and children. Something is simply wrong.

Those I speak about act like they have all the time in the world and claim they need to get more money first, promotions etc.

Such attitude is killing us.

[Scarface F]

Back in the day my mom tried to sabotage a lot of my relationships too. She HATED my husband. Was convinced he was gonna steal me away from her and that he was a terrible dude and kept making fun of him for being short. A lot of stuff happened between now and then, but now they both get along. I would tell you not to lose hope but you'd have to be able to get through your mom's stubbornness about why this guy is so bad. By the way I know nothing about Stears so I'm just assuming she's being a typical controlling Eastern European mom.

Thank you for writing this. It's all true.

She is extremely controlling and obsessed with me, and doesn't want to lose me because my father neglects her (he shows care for her by doing things for her, but is mentally absent and is a man who does not show any emotions towards her). She is dominant and suffocating and it's hard to work with her. When I pass the bar I will find another job. I already got one good job offer, but from region in Croatia where I don't want to live and I need to pass the bar first, before moving. I might accept it for short while because it would be good experience though.

Her fault is that she is some kind of arrogant, health-obsessed eugenicist and can't accept the fact my man is autistic. She also didn't want to accept my diagnosis for Asperger's Syndrome. She called it bollocks because she can't accept how can "ubermensch" woman like her have aspie daughter and son in law.

She also hates Stears because he is poor. She claims I deserve much more.

My cold father on the other hand acepts and respects Stears, because he knows we love each other. Stears might not be his dream son in law but he told me he will rather support Stears than let me suffer alone.

My mother is very egoistic, and despite she'd do anything for me, she can't stand idea what will other people say her daughter has strange aspie foreigner. What other people think is of great importance to her, like to many controlling eastern european moms.

I have a feeling she would rather have some white collar criminal psychopath for my husband if he were very succesfull and respected member of the society. She'd be proud of such a guy.

[Varda]

One my distant cousin brought wife to the family house where his parents live, even his grandmother lived there in that time (she died few years later). His wife wanted they live in another place and not with his parents (they had place), but he indisted to live with his parents. They have 3 children, one teenager (about 15) and two 7-8 years old. His parents active participated in raising those children on a daily basis and still participate. It is much better than they live in an apartment with children far away from his parents.

For our peasant ancestors it was normal than woman live in the house of her husband together with his parents, grandparents and even brother and his wife/children.

Opposite example. My neighbours brought appartments for their two sons (for one in another city, and for other relatively close), and they stayed in family house. One of them is 40 and other is close, and both are without children. One is in long relationship and it seems he and his partner don't want children, other broke up with his fiancee and now is single. Maybe it would be better if one of them stayed in the house with parents, maybe would have 2-3 children right now. Their mother once said she doesn't want them and their girlfriends or wives under the same roof, 'let everyone live their own life' she said as well.

[Laredo]

I think it is still good if they find together, i mean her and Stears, because he is the father of her child, and for a child it is better to have the father then a single mum or stepfather. I like Scarface as person or human, and hope she will be well. Good luck Scarface

She needs to get the fuck of Europe and move to the U. S or some where, from my experience it's not something out of this world for white american men or Latino to date or marry women who already have kids.

I personally feel European men are very shallow and cold blooded personality etc.