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I agree. Personality.
Of course I notice looks first. I prefer all three.
But I would marry someone of lesser, average appearance (not ugly), or lesser, average intelligence (not dumb),
if the personality is right. So personality seems to be the most important.
I would prefer to marry a nice simpleton of average appearance, than a gorgeous intelligent sociopath.
So like most people, I think that personality is overall the most important.
I don't WANT a simpleton, this is NOT ideal, but if he is mentally healthy and cute & we mostly agree & he lets me be in charge,
then I will be smart enough for both of us, and he cannot do much damage. So brains are "least important".
Looks are the initial/most obvious category that qualifies or disqualifies, but is not the top priority. Here are my priorities:
First priority, someone who is physically and mentally healthy, not amoral/sociopathic (this is mentally unhealthy).
Second priority, someone who is at about the same level as I am, of intelligence, class, and attractiveness.
(I do not want a man notably higher or lower than I am, I would prefer to stay within my "caste")
Third priority, someone who is decently attractive and who arouses me.
(My physical standards are not very high.)
Fourth priority (usually the deciding factor), someone who shares my values, the basics.
Fifth priority, someone who is compatible with me, psychologically and astrologically.
Sixth priority, someone who satisfies me sexually and keeps up with me, in many areas of life, I am very energetic.
Seventh priority, someone who can lead the household, who is confident and assertive.
Last edited by CosmoLady; 04-24-2024 at 04:05 AM.
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Personality >>> Looks > Brains
Personality/character is everything. I've dated enough entitled women to know better.
Brain/Looks need a minimum, I don't care for more. I'm a high earner and can provide.
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I feel like with overly abstracted languages (Java, and C# to some extent), it becomes a habit to make code where you don't have as good of a grasp of what it's doing compared to a lower level language such as C/C++. Although if you're a genius with one coding language you'll definitley be miles ahead of others for starting any other coding language.
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I would rather have a 5/10 in both than a 10/10 brains or 10/10 looks.
I dated a very good looking girl once for a short time and after the initial high, you quickly realise you can't spend the rest of your life with someone you don't even enjoy talking to and have nothing in common with.
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A shared sense of humor definitely helps. You can laugh at one another's jokes as the Titanic sinks with Slow Joe at the helm. Attitude and personality are extremely important too. Young guys, date cute fun chicks, not beautiful BPD psychotics.
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So you like being average? imo if you are hot and stupid, you have a lot of fun. If you are very smart, you might be miserable, but maybe you ll find a field of interest where you can blossom and so some women who simp for successfull men (i mean intelligent, sapio sexuals) will be your little slave and will listen to all your narcistic bull shit you are talking all day.
Average just sucks really.
If i would choose i would personally have a very strong emotional and people intelligence- even if you are just average (in looks and success) you can manage your relationships and interests wisely and be happy- thats why personality is actually very important. Because who wants to spend time with a miserable good looking or smart person if he/she isnt masochistic per se?
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1. Personality
2. Looks
3. Brains - It matters, but I feel like everyone defines intellect differently.
I believe it shapes the personality, and it's impossible for me to fully separate them.
What's most essential to me is mental well- being, genuine curiosity and a similar sense of humour.
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same, with this weight:
55% Personality
35% Looks
10% Brains
example:
7.5/10 Personality (above average, fair person, has some flaws but overall positive attitude, supportive)
6.5/10 Looks (slightly above average)
5/10 Brains (average)
this is a 6.9 person for my taste, i.e. well above average, although only 6.5 in looks and of average intelligence for example.
I think I am ok even with 5, 5.5 etc, average people are ok to me, I think that people respond with kindness to kindness most of the time and that if you are not stubborn you can make those around you better, by ignoring their nasty behaviour once or twice and setting an example of common sense - if they don't follow, then they need to gtfo, but give them a chance, be the more patient one at first and most people will want to keep you, a person with fair-play attitude, around them, especially if they are more mature and understand the importance of it. also, we should not overestimate bad days if they are indeed only bad days and don't happen every week for example.
Last edited by Nurzat; 04-24-2024 at 10:25 AM.
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