Spanking your child

[rhiannon]

My mother slapped me in the mouth once, hard.

I knew then there are somethings that should be left unsaid, lol! I was a devil child and my parents did very well managing me, including my father who put the fear of god into me a few times.

My father did the same to my brothers. I bore witness to it many times. He wouldn't spank me though because I was a girl, and he never really knew how to handle me because he was so used to boys. Spanking me was left to my mother. When I deserved it, and certainly I did on a few occasions , she'd whip out the metal pancake turner and tell us to drop our drawers, basically. She hit hard! However, her spanks never scarred me for life or anything. She hurt me in other ways.

[rhiannon]

No offence you guys, but if the majority of TA denizens were spanked/were pro-spanking that would be a great argument against spanking.

I'm a very kind-hearted, loving person Longbowman. I was also spanked and taught to show a certain level of respect to my elders. I see less of this now in younger generations, though....yourself excluded of course! I wish more young people were like you actually. However, spanking shouldn't be categorically demonized and thus I will beg to disagree with you at this juncture.

Spanking doesn't have to be excessive, and it certainly isn't abusive if the parent does it with correct intentions. Granted, the abusive dickwads out there have messed it all up for everyone else. I know in parts of Europe, corporal punishment is now illegal, and I must say that I'm somewhat incensed at the idea of the State dictating to me how I'm allowed to raise my child. I have my children's best interests at heart more than anyone else ever will because they are mine. The State has no right to tell me as a loving parent that I cannot be allowed to bop my kid on the butt if they've really done something to warrant this sort of corrective measure.

[Watch_Owl]

There are studies on why spanking is bad.

[roro4721]

I've noticed kids whose parents hit/spank them end up being more violent. I think physical discipline is rather medieval and I cannot condone it.
How can you hit your kids and then tell them not to hit others? It's so hypocritical!

[rhiannon]

It's really bad these days and I think it's because kids are being ignored. They are not being taught by their parents. They are left to be raised by media and spend more time with peers than with their family who is supposed to teach and guide them. They are not being disciplined at all, that is a problem. Also in schools many kids are not being disciplined and get away with too much, that is why bullying has become such a problem. Parents and teachers don't care.

Kids used to be disciplined in school when it was necessary. Why? Because parents backed up the teachers'. Both worked in concert together on behalf of a child's best interests. One of my very favorite primary school teachers spanked our butts when it was necessary. She also praised us and went out of her way for us. This was the third grade

Now? Teachers cower in defense of parents who are quick to get up in their faces if the teacher so much as speaks harsh words to some bratty kid. The tables have turned drastically.

Me? I follow the old methodology and stay involved in my son's progress in school. I have gotten to know his teacher pretty well and I trust her to make good decisions regarding my son when he is in her classroom. If this means she has to reprimand him, fine. I back her up. Too bad more parents couldn't be the same.

I don't like the way parenting rolls much anymore in this new school of thought.

[Longbowman]

You're doing the same, except using the newspaper that reported the study as an excuse to discredit it.

Also, there have been accusations of political bias against the APA (and in the mental health industry in general) over the years.

But not over the Telegraph? That's my point. You're being a hypocrite. I wasn't the one who suggested studies were biased.

[Longbowman]

I'm a very kind-hearted, loving person Longbowman. I was also spanked and taught to show a certain level of respect to my elders. I see less of this now in younger generations, though....yourself excluded of course! I wish more young people were like you actually. However, spanking shouldn't be categorically demonized and thus I will beg to disagree with you at this juncture.

Spanking doesn't have to be excessive, and it certainly isn't abusive if the parent does it with correct intentions. Granted, the abusive dickwads out there have messed it all up for everyone else. I know in parts of Europe, corporal punishment is now illegal, and I must say that I'm somewhat incensed at the idea of the State dictating to me how I'm allowed to raise my child. I have my children's best interests at heart more than anyone else ever will because they are mine. The State has no right to tell me as a loving parent that I cannot be allowed to bop my kid on the butt if they've really done something to warrant this sort of corrective measure.

Well first, thank you.

Second, the State has to legislate to an extent because of the aforementioned dickwads. It is incredibly unlikely you'd get charged or arrested with anything, obviously.

Finally, it's just a difference between you and me that has already arisen; you support punishment and I support rehabilitation. That seems to be to be the crux of the argument. I find negative conditioning to be a bit backwards and you find my ideas to be wishy-washy and ineffective.

[rhiannon]

Well first, thank you.

Second, the State has to legislate to an extent because of the aforementioned dickwads. It is incredibly unlikely you'd get charged or arrested with anything, obviously.

Finally, it's just a difference between you and me that has already arisen; you support punishment and I support rehabilitation. That seems to be to be the crux of the argument. I find negative conditioning to be a bit backwards and you find my ideas to be wishy-washy and ineffective.

You're welcome. You're a truly decent young man. Thoughtful, insightful, sensitive, etc. Pretty unusual to see in a 20yo male lol

I agree regarding the dickwads. People do tend to become busybodies though. I've seen countless incidents of parents being reported to Child Protective Services for things that were totally unfounded. This is the danger of too much state involvement. Imagine the wasted manpower used needlessly for investigating every reported spanking....and perhaps rendering a shorthanded staff that misses REAL incidents of genuine child abuse....

It is IMO very different to compare issues of raising children to criminal punishment btw, even if they seem superficially comparable.

Moreover, I certainly try always to explain things to my son before any other measure is used. Sometimes, however, he pulls shenanigans that are severe enough to warrant the most severe punishment....if only so he understands how badly he screwed up. This has hardly happened.

Criminals, OTOH, deserve no such luxury.

Kids can reason, but their brains don't process the way ours do. Not yet anyway. Spanking is sometimes the better alternative. Not violent spanking, though! Not the kind where the kid gets an ass-whoopin'....a small child NEVER warrants such treatment.....ever!!

I get thrown off with my son sometimes because he speaks using adult language, proper context and everything! It is easy to lose sight of the fact I'm dealing with a 6yo lol.

[Longbowman]

You're welcome. You're a truly decent young man. Thoughtful, insightful, sensitive, etc. Pretty unusual to see in a 20yo male lol

I agree regarding the dickwads. People do tend to become busybodies though. I've seen countless incidents of parents being reported to Child Protective Services for things that were totally unfounded. This is the danger of too much state involvement. Imagine the wasted manpower used needlessly for investigating every reported spanking....and perhaps rendering a shorthanded staff that misses REAL incidents of genuine child abuse....

It is IMO very different to compare issues of raising children to criminal punishment btw, even if they seem superficially comparable.

Moreover, I certainly try always to explain things to my son before any other measure is used. Sometimes, however, he pulls shenanigans that are severe enough to warrant the most severe punishment....if only so he understands how badly he screwed up. This has hardly happened.

Criminals, OTOH, deserve no such luxury.

Kids can reason, but their brains don't process the way ours does. Spanking is sometimes the better alternative. Not violent spanking, though! Not the kind where the kid gets an ass-whoopin'....a small child NEVER warrants such treatment.....ever!!

I get thrown off with my son sometimes because he speaks using adult language, proper context and everything! It is easy to lose sight of the fact I'm dealing with a 6yo lol.

I get the appeal of an eye for an eye but it plain doesn't work. Look at reoffending rates. We should try to be compassionate, anyhow.

[rhiannon]

I get the appeal of an eye for an eye but it plain doesn't work. Look at reoffending rates. We should try to be compassionate, anyhow.

There are always going to be those who reoffend. It's matter of the person, not the sentence.