Arranged marriages

[Terek]

What is your opinion about parents and family members involved in process of marriage selection?

First, I am not talking about specifically marriages that are decided at birth and the bride and groom don't meet each other or don't know each other, or the idea to force a marriage between two people who do not consent. I am asking, what kind of role of the parents is acceptable to you or do you think is best for a healthy family relationship?

There are different ways to "arrange" a marriage or have family involvement. Sometimes the family introduces or just advocates for a certain person to marry, but yes or no is the decision of the child. Sometimes the elder of the family must approve of a marriage. And sometimes, parents can find a bride or groom for their child, if the unfortunate soul cannot do it for himself!

There are statistics (and many non-Westerns, for example, Indians, mention this) that say the divorce rate is so much more high among families of just choice (with no parent involvment) than with "arranged" marriage. The other thing to think though is that maybe in these societies the woman will resist divorce because of the bad reputation and life that will be a result.

My opinion? I think it should be mainly love/choice, but parents should help in some situations. In Chechnya, for example, there is not a tradition of arranged marriage from birth, it is the man's choice in his youth to find his bride. Some of you may have heard we do have bride stealing , but the parent role in true Chechen custom is that if the kidnapped bride and her family are against the marriage, then it is not valid. I think it is best if both families agree with the marriage between the bride and groom.

So, what role do you think parents should have in a European society? I am not saying for a requirement or law, only what role is best for a healthy and successful marriage?

[Jerry]

It is complete BS and utter crap of course and makes the world a more miserable place. If some of these marriages end up being happy ones, it does not make the phenomenon one bit better - this is just normal mathematics and law of statistics.

This thing should be thrown in the same basket with female circumcision and wiped out of earth.

Edit: Ok, I did not read your post with enough thought at first. Well anyways I think parents' role should be minimal to non-existent, you are not finding a spouse for your parents you are doing it for you. It's a short and miserable life anyways you should live it for yourself and make the best of it.

[Loki]

I am against it. Marriage should come out of love from both partners. Parents should have no role in it.

[Europa]

I am against it. Marriage should come out of love from both partners. Parents should have no role in it.

I also support this opinion,but with one condition.No interracial marriages

[Mortimer]

I voted the third option, if someone cannot find a girl/guy and parents or relatives or friends can help him/her than its good.

[Scrapple]

I voted the third option, if someone cannot find a girl/guy and parents or relatives or friends can help him/her than its good.

I picked this option too.

[Queen B]

If I am going to live with a person, I should be the one who will choose who will be.
Simply as that

[WitheredWhiteness]

I think there is no need for parents to get involved. Of course they can have their opinion, they can say it out loud as conversation in a family is crucial. But the decision has to be made by the partners.

From my point of view the religion is the thing which definitely shouldn't get involved in any kind of relationship between people...

[Terek]

Most of you will choose the last option, I know, especially because this idea looks like a tradition from non European people... but you may have opinions more conservative than you think

For example, what about YOUR children? You may actually have the approval option if you are preservationist. What if your child wanted to marry someone who is a different race or relgion, or of the same sex? If not, you may want to approve or not approve this marriage.

[Loki]

Most of you will choose the last option, I know, especially because this idea looks like a tradition from non European people... but you may have opinions more conservative than you think

For example, what about YOUR children? You may actually have the approval option if you are preservationist. What if your child wanted to marry someone who is a different race or relgion, or of the same sex? If not, you may want to approve or not approve this marriage.

Children are best raised among parents who love each other. With arranged marriages there is a considerably less chance of that