Chechen Mentality

[Terek]

I decided to write I think a sequel to the first thread I wrote about Chechnya in this section...there I said, in a practical way, that in a realistic situation there should be no desire to separate from Russia.

The first thread was from an economic and political point of view, and now this is from the cultural and philosophical aspect.

So, I am a Chechen who has lived most of life outside the republic, and several years abroad in the West. I am very fortunate, and I would even say very protected, from a family who has money and who has raised children with religious and nationalistic values in addition to modern intellectual values (for example, both parents gave a lot of importance to doing well in school) I did live in Grozny during part of the first war, but really, I don't remember it very much. There was just a lot happening that I was too young to understand.
Anyways, with my upbringing, it is easy to romanticize the idea of an independent Ichkeria, of freedom, and so on.

So now, I live here again, for the first time (that is LIVE not just VISIT) since I was a child, and I notice something about the people that is disturbing and depressing. Many of you will just think of us as a barbaric and backward mountain people with an oppressive religion... in reality, it is not Islam and it is not our native culture. It is that Chechnya as part of Russia has a complex. Here they are tired of war, and want to continue in peace and strongly reject talk of separation. At the same time, they like to show off how much they are NOT Russian, and in my opinion, they do so in a wrong way.

With such things as general male aggression, non-consension bride stealing, complete Idol worship of Ramzan Kadyrov (I see his ugly face everywhere. On buildings. At work. On random men's t-shirts even!) and enforcing such petty laws about women and clothes and such that are insignificant part of either Islam or Vainakh custom...and to people who disagree with this, they say, this is the Chechen way, this is our law, and if you do not like it, you are not a Chechen you are a Russian.

The truth is, this idiotic practice did not have its prevalance so much before the wars! Here there is such betrayal on a daily basis of friends and family in the name of loyalty to Kadyrov. In the old Vainakh custom, family is of the most importance... AND one would NEVER submit to someone all-powerful with non-questioning authority like they do now, unless it is God. And the worst is, that one of the most important customs is being lost, of respect for your elders and respect for Mothers.
Especially in the instances of bride-stealing, when it is AGAINST the will of the bride and her family. In the old days, a Chechen man would absolutely never disrespect the elders of the family like that. Now, it happens often, just out of aggression.

All this to show off in an ostentatious way how you are "not Russian", when at the same time, there are people who actually forget who they are, in that they have lost some things. Some people for example are not literate in their own language, they do not develop themselves intellectually, they are dependent on the government (and therefore the Russian Federation government) for all reconstruction and economic purposes, they forget their family history, they forget their people's history except in the context of being angry with Russia. This I think is the most depressing thing here, about the change in mentality. And this has all happened in less than twenty years.

Do I think it would all be different if we were given independence? That is, twenty years ago our independence, legitimate? That we would have our own society and our own culture retained without this superficiality and this complex, and be able to modernize and economically develop in our own unique way? I don't know and it is a pointless thing to think about because now that is absolutely impossible. The Chechen Republic is a dead end. There is no sign of anything getting better. Russians hate us for the minority who are associated with terrorism, and for the majority associated with Putin's policy of "feeding the Caucasus". And the Chechen people have turned into brainwashed and empty-minded, aggressive people with no reason and no logic.

For this year, I am facing a choice to either stay here and get married, or return to my studies and then have the problem of returning here too old and not married. I wanted to return to live in Chechnya because I have so much love and patriotism (in the Old Ichkerian way) and I wanted to raise a family with the same values... now I can say I have completely lost all idealism and hope and I am getting out of here. I wish my family will do the same, and to marry someone who feels the same way.

[Den Pobedy]

The North Caucasus is so bound up with Russia,that your right ,it will remain part of Russia.If there is someway to get rid of the connection with Terrorism and bring peace to the region.It could develop into a prosperous society.Hopefully as time passes that will come to be.

[Nairi]

For this year, I am facing a choice to either stay here and get married, or return to my studies and then have the problem of returning here too old and not married. I wanted to return to live in Chechnya because I have so much love and patriotism (in the Old Ichkerian way) and I wanted to raise a family with the same values... now I can say I have completely lost all idealism and hope and I am getting out of here. I wish my family will do the same, and to marry someone who feels the same way.

Groznenka, being partly Estonian it seems you don't consider marrying an Estonian, right? If you feel you are suffocating in Chechnya and need to continue studies abroad but afraid of staying single what about many Chechens living outside? You might be able to meet likeminded Chechen there, maybe you have Chechen websites where you also could meet outside living Chechen and even if you both decide to return to Chechnya with such husband you will not feel so depressed and alone.

[derLowe]

I decided to write I think a sequel to the first thread I wrote about Chechnya in this section...there I said, in a practical way, that in a realistic situation there should be no desire to separate from Russia.

The first thread was from an economic and political point of view, and now this is from the cultural and philosophical aspect.

So, I am a Chechen who has lived most of life outside the republic, and several years abroad in the West. I am very fortunate, and I would even say very protected, from a family who has money and who has raised children with religious and nationalistic values in addition to modern intellectual values (for example, both parents gave a lot of importance to doing well in school) I did live in Grozny during part of the first war, but really, I don't remember it very much. There was just a lot happening that I was too young to understand.
Anyways, with my upbringing, it is easy to romanticize the idea of an independent Ichkeria, of freedom, and so on.

So now, I live here again, for the first time (that is LIVE not just VISIT) since I was a child, and I notice something about the people that is disturbing and depressing. Many of you will just think of us as a barbaric and backward mountain people with an oppressive religion... in reality, it is not Islam and it is not our native culture. It is that Chechnya as part of Russia has a complex. Here they are tired of war, and want to continue in peace and strongly reject talk of separation. At the same time, they like to show off how much they are NOT Russian, and in my opinion, they do so in a wrong way.

With such things as general male aggression, non-consension bride stealing, complete Idol worship of Ramzan Kadyrov (I see his ugly face everywhere. On buildings. At work. On random men's t-shirts even!) and enforcing such petty laws about women and clothes and such that are insignificant part of either Islam or Vainakh custom...and to people who disagree with this, they say, this is the Chechen way, this is our law, and if you do not like it, you are not a Chechen you are a Russian.

The truth is, this idiotic practice did not have its prevalance so much before the wars! Here there is such betrayal on a daily basis of friends and family in the name of loyalty to Kadyrov. In the old Vainakh custom, family is of the most importance... AND one would NEVER submit to someone all-powerful with non-questioning authority like they do now, unless it is God. And the worst is, that one of the most important customs is being lost, of respect for your elders and respect for Mothers.
Especially in the instances of bride-stealing, when it is AGAINST the will of the bride and her family. In the old days, a Chechen man would absolutely never disrespect the elders of the family like that. Now, it happens often, just out of aggression.

All this to show off in an ostentatious way how you are "not Russian", when at the same time, there are people who actually forget who they are, in that they have lost some things. Some people for example are not literate in their own language, they do not develop themselves intellectually, they are dependent on the government (and therefore the Russian Federation government) for all reconstruction and economic purposes, they forget their family history, they forget their people's history except in the context of being angry with Russia. This I think is the most depressing thing here, about the change in mentality. And this has all happened in less than twenty years.

Do I think it would all be different if we were given independence? That is, twenty years ago our independence, legitimate? That we would have our own society and our own culture retained without this superficiality and this complex, and be able to modernize and economically develop in our own unique way? I don't know and it is a pointless thing to think about because now that is absolutely impossible. The Chechen Republic is a dead end. There is no sign of anything getting better. Russians hate us for the minority who are associated with terrorism, and for the majority associated with Putin's policy of "feeding the Caucasus". And the Chechen people have turned into brainwashed and empty-minded, aggressive people with no reason and no logic.

For this year, I am facing a choice to either stay here and get married, or return to my studies and then have the problem of returning here too old and not married. I wanted to return to live in Chechnya because I have so much love and patriotism (in the Old Ichkerian way) and I wanted to raise a family with the same values... now I can say I have completely lost all idealism and hope and I am getting out of here. I wish my family will do the same, and to marry someone who feels the same way.

You have spent too much time abroad.

[Nairi]

You have spent too much time abroad.

And as a result she has a fresh look at everything.

[derLowe]

And as a result she has a fresh look at everything.

A different outlook, knowledge how things can be done differently and perhaps how they should be done.

Nothing is worse that isolation, that is how religious fanatics are made.

[Nairi]

A different outlook, knowledge how things can be done differently and perhaps how they should be done.

Nothing is worse that isolation, that is how religious fanatics are made.

Yes, people like her can change mentality of the nation over time but for now she is young, alone and feels depressed, the burden is too much.

[derLowe]

Yes, people like her can change mentality of the nation over time but for now she is young, alone and feels depressed, the burden is too much.

Maybe she feel isolated, it happens to people who are stuck between places or ideologies.

[Nairi]

Maybe she feel isolated, it happens to people who are stuck between places or ideologies.

That's exactly what it is, it happens to all of us who lived outside.
Once we leave our countries we never find true peace in our hearts. We miss our countries and all positive we had their once, we return and come across negative which we alsmost forgot and now we concentrate on only positive we had abroad,we move countries and the circle of positive/negative never ends.

[Terek]

Yes, people like her can change mentality of the nation over time but for now she is young, alone and feels depressed, the burden is too much.

I appreciate this)

I don't know how much time can change the mentality of a nation, I am certain that this happens as it already has in a negative way, but unfortunately there is nothing happening at any time soon that will change the mentality in a positive way. It only gets worse. On the other hand, if you believe that a nation is born with something, in its blood that is eternal, then maybe the true mentality will reveal itself once again even through the worst. But I don't have this idealism anymore.

You have spent too much time abroad.

Well yes, but not actually. As in that does not make it a bad thing. I lived abroad and now I have the worst time to live here, that is true. My family though also lives here, and their mentality has not become like many of the others.
My sister wants so much to transfer into a University abroad. She has honestly earned the highest marks in her faculty, but no foreign University is accepting her classes from Chechen State University, and I understand this.
Everyone wants to get out of here.
The people who remain are those who love Kadyrov and are so subservient.

What should happen is that people go abroad and then return with knowledge (that you can't find here)... but this won't happen. It is either impossible to go abroad or they just don't go back.

In short, also, it is a misconception that wanting to be "modern" and getting an education in the West means that you want to be "Western." No! EVERY society in this world has to modernize, or else it fails and becomes a horrible place to live because to not progress things with time, that is against human nature. This doesn't mean you lose your culture and your unique mentality and even your religion and try to imitate America or something. It just means you use practices that makes sense.
Somebody does something that an all powerful man like Kadyrov says is a law from thousands of years (which isn't even), that does not make sense at all today, and makes everyone unhappy... and still they do it.